Hey, it’s one of those weeks where the record-buying public wanders off script!  Yay!

36.  Beyonce – “7/11”

Okay, that’s a pretty great video.  These things can easily not work – look, here I am hanging out in my luxury hotel suite with some people I have paid to be here – but this is genuinely fun.  “7/11” is from the special edition of last year’s eponymous album, which, despite having only two new songs, is nonetheless expanded to a modest six-disc set.  It’s not the most radio-friendly thing she’s ever made, and it’s certainly not a showcase for her voice – frankly, you can see why it didn’t make the album proper – and the midweeks suggest it’s going no further.

33.  Nico & Vinz – “Am I Wrong” 

A number 1 earlier in the year, of course.  I don’t know why it’s back, it’s not like anyone seems to have done it on X Factor.

30.  Kiesza – “No Enemiesz”

First single number 1, second single number 4…  hmm.  And this was 19 in the midweeks, to boot.  Diminishing returns have set in badly here, which is a shame, since it’s probably a stronger single than “Giant in my Heart” – perhaps it was a mistake releasing such an obvious clone as the second single.  And yes, it really is called “No Enemiesz”.

Wikipedia helpfully synopsises the video: “In it, Kiesza dances around and eventually strips down to a bikini.”

24.    David Guetta featuring Emeli Sande – “What I Did For Love”

A track being cherry picked from Guetta’s new album “Listen”, presumably on the strength of Sande’s name.  The actual single, “Dangerous”, is at 9 this week.

22.  Years & Years – “Desire”

You may remember Years & Years from their featured artist credit on “Sunlight” by The Magician, which got to number 7 last month.  Only their lead singer was actually on that record, but that’s no reason not to try and leverage a few sales of their own off the back of it.  So here they are with their own synth pop routine.  It’s more interesting than “Sunlight”, but still a bit of a B-level Disclosure.

18.  James Bay – “Hold Back The River”

James Bay is a songwriter from Hertfordshire.  He toured with Hozier earlier in the year, and as with Hozier, this is a superficially indie-ish track concealing a rather more radio-friendly engine.  Still, it’s not the sort of thing we’re used to seeing in the top 20 these days.

14.  James Newton Howard / Jennifer Lawrence – “The Hanging Tree”

Well, this is an oddity.  This is a track from the Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 score album.  Not the “soundtrack” album with all the licensed songs that are barely in the movie – the actual score.  A weird little quasi-folk number that slowly builds to orchestra and choir, it’s not something you expect to find in the top 40.

I haven’t seen the film, so it’s possible that the song is used in a way that accounts for it sticking in so many viewers’ minds.  But the obvious appeal here is that it has vocals by actress Jennifer Lawrence.

Since this is an album track download, the chart would normally just take the artist credit for the album as a whole – which is given to composer James Newton Howard.  This would be a rather weird result, given that the track features Jennifer Lawrence singing a lyric taken from the book, set to a tune written by the Lumineers, so that Howard’s actual contribution to this track seems to be limited to arranging it.  That may explain why the compilers have whacked Lawrence’s name onto their listings.

This is not a one-week quirk, either – the midweeks have this climbing into the top 10.

12.  McBusted – “Air Guitar”

Superannuated boy band alert.  McBusted is a merger of McFly (all of them) and the two members of Busted who aren’t Charlie Simpson.  They did an arena tour earlier in the year doing a combined greatest hits set, and are now trying their luck at an original album.  It sounds pretty much like you’d expect a Busted/McFly comeback collaboration to sound, which is to say, they really are getting a bit old for this.

7.  Labrinth – “Jealous”

The second single from his upcoming album does rather better than “Let It Be”, which just missed the top 10.  This is one of his ultra-direct sincere ballads, which evidently plays better with the buying public than the clever-clever stuff.  It’s apparently addressed to one of his parents, who left when he was four.  Really rather good, actually.

1.  Take That – “These Days”

Well, this is unexpected.  Most people had Band Aid 30 pencilled in to stay at the top for a while – the physical single isn’t even out yet – but as it turns out, it drops to 2 in its second week out, and the midweeks see it leaving the top 10 entirely.  Granted that its sales were heavily front loaded by pre-orders, this is still a shockingly fast drop-off.

That leaves the way clear for Take That to claim an unexpected 12th number one over a span of 21 years (and their second since they re-formed).  With the departure of both Jason Orange and Robbie Williams, Take That are now down to a trio of Gary Barlow, Mark Owen and Howard Donald (who surely can’t believe his luck at still having a job here).  Well into middle age and continuing to sell records on the strength of their new songs, rather than being a mere nostalgia act, Take That have undeniably set a new benchmark for boy bands growing old with dignity.

With this single, Take That now match the Shadows’ total of number 1s (and most of the Shadows’ were really Cliff Richard records).  Only two bands have had more number 1s than this – the Beatles and, er, Westlife.

On the album chart, it’s MOR hell!

• “Never Been Better” by Olly Murs enters at 1.  Insert obvious backhanded comment here.  The single “Wrapped Up” remains at 3.
• “Listen” by David Guetta at 8, which is surprisingly low.  We’ve covered the singles.
• “Hope” by Susan Boyle at 13.  Her sixth album and the first to miss the top 10 – but come on, she’s done well off her moment of viral fame back in the last decade.  Album trailer.
• “Dublin to Detroit” by Boyzone at 14.  Because who wasn’t crying out for an album of Motown classic in the inimitable style of Boyzone?  Single: “Reach Out (I’ll Be There)”.
• “Strictly Come Dancing” by Dave Arch & The Strictly Come Dancing Band at 22.  For that relative who thinks the cover versions on Strictly Come Dancing are actually better than the originals.
• “Sirens of Song” by Jools Holland & His Rhythm & Blues Orchestra at 25.  Covers album with various female guest singers.  Some pretty high profile ones, actually – Joss Stone, Kylie Minogue, KT Tunstall, that kind of thing.
• “My Dream Duets” by Barry Manilow at 28.  I imagine it’s his favourite duets.
• “The London Sessions” by Mary J Blige at 40.  Just making the chart, but then she was never as big a mainstream star in this country.  Single: “Whole Damn Year”.