I’ll warn you now, there’s nothing much happening until we reach the bottom end of the top thirty.

1.  Sam Smith – “Too Good at Goodbyes”

Three weeks now, which is his longest run at the top, overtaking the Comic Relief re-issue of “Lay Me Down” which managed two weeks in 2015.  It’s very marginal, though – his lead was the equivalent of 693 sales – so he probably won’t be there much longer.

And now, a long list of tracks which are climbing…“Rockstar” by Post Malone featuring 21 Savage moves 5-2.  “Havana” by Camila Cabello featuring Young Thug is up 7-4.  “Lonely Together” by Avicii featuring Rita Ora goes from 10 to 8.    “1-800-273-8255” by Logic featuring Alessia Cara and Khalid is up from 17 to 12.  “Hurtin’ Me” by Stefflon Don & French Montana climbs from 20 to 14.  “What Lovers Do” by Maroon 5 featuring SZA… oh, hold on, this one’s got a video now.

18.  Maroon 5 featuring SZA – “What Lovers Do”

This is the one that’s basically a (credited) re-write of “Sexual” by Neiked, and never really has a good answer to the obvious question: “why wouldn’t you just listen to the original, which was great”?  The video is insane, but in a rather charmless way.  This one actually entered at 23 three weeks ago and it’s been hovering in the upper twenties since.

“Swish Swish” by Katy Perry featuring Nicki Minaj climbs 22-19.  “Glorious” by Macklemore featuring Skylar Grey is up from 31 to 23; the album is out this week.  “Silence” by Marshmello featuring Khalid moves 29-26.  And “Heartline” by Craig David goes 35-28.

Right.  New entries at last!

29.  Mabel featuring Kojo Funds – “Finders Keepers”

This is the first chart appearance for Mabel McVey, though her first single came out in 2015.  This one doesn’t do much for me, but she certainly has pedigree – she’s the daughter of Neneh Cherry, whose own debut “Buffalo Stance” reached number 3 back in 1988.  Her father is Cameron McVey, who was the producer of that single.  Kojo Funds, also making his first appearance on the chart, is another Londoner, and he’s a leading light in the Afro-Swing genre.

30.  Big Shaq – “Man’s Not Hot”

The FULL Roadman Shaq #FireInTheBooth 🔥🔥😂😂 @MichaelDapaah @CharlieSloth

The ting goes… pic.twitter.com/vXgKNhledw

— BBC Radio 1Xtra (@1Xtra) September 5, 2017

Ah, a viral hit.  We haven’t had one of those in a while.  This started off as an appearance on Radio 1Xtra’s “Fire in the Booth” slot, which gives airtime for upcoming rappers to freestyle.  But Big Shaq – or Roadman Shaq, depending on who’s asking – is a character from Michael Dapaah’s YouTube series Somewhere in London, which is a UK grime mockumentary.  The joke isn’t that Shaq can’t rap, more that he’s an plausible-sounding idiot with no self-awareness who takes himself and his image very seriously.  Some of this depends on you getting the references where he’s copying other rappers while missing the point, but it’s his extensive gunfire impersonation that really went viral.

The version you can buy and stream is a re-recording which has been polished up a bit, but it’s still basically the same with some extra material at the end.  The backing track, both on the original and the record, is “Let’s Lurk” by 67 featuring Giggs, which reached number 66 last year.

34.  Ed Sheeran – “Perfect”

Re-entering the chart, now that it’s being promoted as the next official single from the “÷” album.  “Perfect” already spent three weeks in the top 10 as an album track during the period when Sheeran swamped the top 40; quite what it means to push it as a single, in these circumstances, is less than clear.

It’s worth pointing out that when I say it’s back in the chart because it’s being promoted as a single, I mean it.  Under the recent chart rule change, a track which is more than ten weeks old, and which has been losing sales faster than the market average for three straight weeks, has its streams downweighted in order to clear it out of the top 40.  But the rules also allow for a reset in cases like this, where the record previously charted as an album track and is now being promoted to single status.  That reset is at least a contributing factor to getting it back in the top 40.

36.  Paloma Faith – “Crybaby”

This is the lead single from her new album “The Architect”, which – in her own words – “questions whether global conflicts would cease to exist if men successfully dealt with their feelings”.  This is not readily obvious from the song itself, which is mainly her telling her man that it’s okay to cry.  It’s in the top 10 sales charts, but dead in the water where streaming is concerned.

37.  Cardi B – “Bodak Yellow”

The current US number one, getting some spillover attention, I guess.

On the album chart:

• “Wonderful Wonderful” by The Killers at 1.  Their fifth number one album.  Single: “Run For Cover”.
• “Roll With The Punches” by Van Morrison at 4.  The last album got to number 4 as well, so no great surprise here.  Single: “Transformation”.
• “The Spark” by Enter Shikari at 5.  Which is pretty much where Enter Shikari albums usually wind up, give or take a place.  They’ve been around for a decade now.  Single: “Live Outside”.
• “BCCIV” by Black Country Communion at 7.  Fourth album for the rock supergroup (hence BCC IV) and the highest place to date.  Single: “Collide”.
• “V” by Horrors at 8.  Their fifth album!  I’m sensing a pattern here.  Single: “Something to Remember Me By”.
• “The Death of a King” by Reverend & The Makers at 11.  Just outside the top 10 is pretty much their usual territory.  Single: “Auld Reekie Blues”.
• “Gemini” by Macklemore at 13.  I’ve mentioned the single already.
• “Shadows and Reflections” by Marc Almond at 14.  That’s unusually high for a Marc Almond solo album – aside from combined greatest hits albums with Soft Cell, his albums haven’t done that well, with the previous peak being number 22 for “Stories of Johnny” back in 1985.  Single: “How Can I Be Sure”.
• “The F-Z of Pop” by The Fizz at 25.  This is one of the competing versions of Bucks Fizz, using a different name for legal reasons.  Single: “Dancing in the Rain”.
• “Luciferian Towers” by Godspeed You! Black Emperor at 34.  Highest position yet for the indie veterans.  Single: “Undoing a Luciferian Towers”.