Rarely has a week with so many new releases been so utterly dull.  There are seven new entries (plus one big climber), but with one exception, they’ve all dropped sharply on the midweeks.

In a display of unusual staying power, “We Found Love” by Rihanna returns to number 1 in its sixth week on release, having moved 1-1-1-3-2-1.

(The song starts at 0:50.)

This is a little unexpected, because the midweek charts had “Take A Chance on Me” by JLS in the lead.  And the X Factor’s only successful band has a good track record for making number 1.  But the second single from their new album is just a generically forgettable mid-tempo pop dirge.  It’s inoffensive.  It’s slightly above average.  But the initial sales from the fanbase clearly didn’t hold up, since it winds up at number 2, and the midweeks show it dropping to 7.

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Unexpectedly, the recent outbreak of chart stability seems to be continuing.  The midweeks showed a new number one, but as it turns out “Read All About It” by Professor Green holds on for a second week.  Judging from iTunes, it won’t manage a third – sales were actually down sharply this week, but that’s starting from one of the highest first-week sales of the year.

Even more surprisingly, Rihanna’s “We Found Love” is back up to 2, and it’s currently at the top of the iTunes chart – so it’s entirely possible it could yet return to number 1 for a fourth week.

All of which must be very disappointing to the record which was number 1 in the midweeks – “With Ur Love” by Cher Lloyd ft Mike Posner.

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After the hectic turnover of number one singles during the summer, Rihanna’s three-week run brought a degree of sanity back to the proceedings.  But now, with that momentary breather behind us, we can get back to the rapid turnover.

The new number one is “Read All About It” by Professor Green featuring Emeli Sande.  This is the lead single from Green’s second album, and it’s his first number one.  It’s also something of a change of tack for him.

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After all those weeks of rapid turnover, we finally have a proper number one single, as “We Found Love” by Rihanna ft Calvin Harris holdings on for a third week.  It was at number two on the midweeks but pulled back ahead on Thursday.  Will it manage a fourth?  Probably not – but it does now have a proper video, so the added airplay on the music channels could make a difference.

The unfortunate record which was ahead in the midweeks but turned out to have frontloaded its sales was “Lightning” by the Wanted, just missing out on their third number one.  As usual with the Wanted, it’s unashamedly targetted at 13-year-old girls, but there’s nothing wrong with that.  Not sure I’d have rhymed “frightening” and “lightning” quite so prominently, but that aside, it’s a decent enough record.

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At long, long last, the weekly turnover of number one singles comes to an end, as Rihanna’s “We Found Love” stays at the top for a second week – the first record to do so since “Glad You Came” by the Wanted in July.

Instead, this week’s highest new entry comes in at 3 – “Stereo Hearts” by Gym Class Heroes featuring Adam Levine.

This equals the peak of their 2007 (or 2006, if you’re American) breakthrough single “Cupid’s Chokehold”.  You know, the one that sampled Supertramp.  They had three top ten hits from that album, and they haven’t released anything since, though frontman Travie McCoy also had a number 3 hit last year with “Billionaire”.

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So near, Maroon 5!  So near, but yet so far.

In a summer where the number 1 spot has changed hands weekly, “Moves Like Jagger” by Maroon 5 ft Christina Aguilera has been plugging away steadily just behind – with an excruciating chart run of 3-3-2-2-2-2-2.  In terms of actually sustaining its sales, it is arguably the uncrowned number 1 single of the last two months.  But on last week’s midweek chart, it looked like “Moves Like Jagger” was finally going to make it to the top for real.

And then, in the middle of the week, Rihanna suddenly released “We Found Love” and squashed them like a bug.

There is, as yet, no video for “We Found Love”, so please enjoy this placeholder graphic from Rihanna’s YouTube channel.

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We’ve had eleven straight number ones by British artists, but this week that run comes to a screeching halt thanks to what can only be described as a Spanish novelty record.  Oddly enough, the last Spanish number one single (“Asereje” by Las Ketchup from 2002) was also a novelty record.  But at least it wasn’t “Loca People” by Sak Noel.  Caution: what follows is an irritating record with an extraordinarily bad video.

Sak Noel is a Spanish DJ who’s done pretty much nothing else of note (in terms of releases, anyway – apparently he also runs a music festival).  The uncredited vocalist is Esthera Sarita, who’s pretty much a blank slate too.

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Undiscriminating patriots rejoice!  The weekly turnover of number one singles continues, and it has apparently been decreed that a new chart record has been set: eleven consecutive number ones by British acts.  That would be DJ Fresh, the Wanted, JLS, Cher Lloyd, Nero, Wretch 32, Olly Murs, Example, Pixie Lott, One Direction (who have an Irish member, but it seems the Official Charts Company determines nationality by majority vote) and now…

…the one with the stupid hats from N-Dubz.

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It is time once again to bow before our overlord Simon Cowell.  Yes, just in time for the new series of X Factor… One Direction are back.  And this time they’re McFly!  Well, kind of, anyway.

With X Factor about to launch in America, a whole new nation is, one suspects, about to be exposed to the dubious charms of the ad hoc group.

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For the seventh consecutive week, we have another new number one.  And since it drops to 3 in the midweeks, it’s a pretty safe bet that there’ll be an eighth on Sunday.

Yes, Pixie Lott is back, to start promoting her second album.  The single is “All About Tonight”, and it’s her seventh hit (they squeezed a lot of singles out of that debut album).  Pixie Lott is a classic example of the age-old promotional technique of insisting very loudly that somebody is a star until everybody gives up and believes you.  She had two number 1 hits in 2009, “Mama Do” and “Boys And Girls”, both of which had a sort of pseudo-retro-but-way-too-polished thing about them.  Passable enough songs, but produced into the ground.

This time round she has apparently decided that she’s the Saturdays, and reinvented herself as an electropop act.  This is a very formulaic piece of songwriting – people in the music industry seem to spend an awful lot of time waiting for the weekend considering they don’t work 9 to 5 jobs in the first place – but it’s a decent chorus and they’ve got the production right this time.

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