Reviews later. \u00a0For now… let’s preview tonight’s WWE show. \u00a0TLC (Tables Ladders & Chairs) is a hangover from the period when the company was experimenting with gimmicks for every show, and also from the days when they were a lot more cavalier about the injury risks in matches. \u00a0TLC matches started as amped-up versions of the ladder match, with added weaponry and more convoluted stunts, some of which were genuinely unwise. \u00a0Today’s product is a lot more restrained than that, and the random shoehorning of TLC matches into storylines that don’t call for them hasn’t helped either. \u00a0The upshot is that the TLC show now sits at the tail end of the pay per view calendar in a rather toned down form.<\/p>\n
The established set-up is to have one TLC match coupled with one ladder match (winner is the first person to climb the ladder and the retrieve the whatever), one tables match (winner is the first person to throw their opponent through a cheap plywood table – it made more sense when ECW originated the idea, since they actually used those tables for their timekeepers), and one chairs match (in which, uh, chairs are legal as weapons – nobody had ever heard of such a pointless gimmick until the WWE had to invent it for the purpose of this show).<\/p>\n
Two other things worth noting before we get to the matches.<\/p>\n
First, John Cena is not booked on the show. \u00a0That doesn’t mean he won’t be on it. \u00a0But he’s not advertised to wrestle, and he says he won’t be there. \u00a0Cena almost never misses a show except due to genuine injury, but there’s no obvious place for him on the card here, and perhaps they just don’t want to risk him in an unnecessary gimmick match.<\/p>\n
Second, since I last wrote one of these, the company has announced its intention to launch something called the WWE Network to coincide with Wrestlemania 2012 (i.e., in the spring). \u00a0There is talk that the minor PPVs, like this show, will be shunted over to that station, to air as specials. \u00a0This might not be such a bad idea, since it’s not like they’re doing great business on PPV. \u00a0Presumably it won’t make any difference to international showings.<\/p>\n
The WWE Network idea has been floating around for a while. \u00a0The basic idea makes a degree of sense. \u00a0The company realises that without television, it has nothing – which means that it’s very vulnerable when its timeslots come up for renewal. \u00a0So to hedge against that risk, they want to set up their own network. \u00a0The problem is what you put on that network in the meantime that might attract people to watch it – the Internet shows\u00a0NXT<\/em>\u00a0and Superstars<\/em>\u00a0will\u00a0presumably be aired, but they’re hardly a draw. \u00a0There’s only a limited audience for archive wrestling. \u00a0The company’s occasional forays beyond the world of wrestling have been uniformly disastrous. \u00a0And by all accounts the company is woefully underprepared for the launch of this network, which can only fuel speculation that another XFL-style fiasco might be in the offing.<\/p>\n 1. \u00a0WWE Title, TLC match: CM Punk v. Alberto Del Rio v. The Miz.<\/strong>\u00a0 Raw’s title match seems like filler. \u00a0Punk is the defending champion (and, in Cena’s absence, the top babyface on the show). \u00a0Del Rio was the previous champion, but Punk’s already beaten him decisively in a rematch, so it doesn’t seem likely that he’s going to get the title back. \u00a0Miz held the title earlier in the year, but seems to have been downgraded to the midcard. \u00a0They might be trying to move him back up to the main event, though they still haven’t quite hit on the right formula for him; the current approach is to present him as a killer, but he’s just not that sort of heel.<\/p>\n This doesn’t seem like a sensible place to change the title (not that that necessarily stops them), and I rather suspect that this is just a case of throwing some challengers at Punk to tide him over for a month. \u00a0All of three of these guys have been in major ladder matches before, so in theory they ought to be able to have a decent match together.<\/p>\n 2. \u00a0World Heavyweight Title… (ahem) Chairs match: Mark Henry v Big Show.<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, the dreaded chairs match, in which two wrestlers have to work portable furniture into their match, in order to comply with the overall gimmick of the show.<\/p>\n This is the Smackdown title match, and Henry is still the defending champion. \u00a0He’s been very effective in the monster heel role, and ratings have actually been okay under his reign, something that most people wouldn’t have predicted given how long he’s been floating around the roster as a midcard act. \u00a0That being said, his feud with the Big Show has now been protracted beyond all logic. \u00a0Their match on the previous show was not well received, and it seems unlikely to be improved by any muted chair shots. \u00a0Presumably this is just another piece of filler so that Henry can start a more interesting feud in time for January’s Royal Rumble, a more important show. \u00a0 At any rate, let’s hope that Henry finally wins the feud and we get to move on.<\/p>\n The fact that both title matches feel like an exercise in marking time is not a good sign.<\/p>\n 3. \u00a0Ladder match: Triple H v Kevin Nash.<\/strong>\u00a0 This has got people intrigued, but for all the wrong reasons. \u00a0Audiences are used to ladder matches being displays of athletic spectacle. \u00a0Well, they won’t be getting that from these two.<\/p>\n Kevin Nash was WWE champion back in the 90s, when the company was going through a rough patch. \u00a0He’s better remembered for his run in WCW later that decade. \u00a0Either way, he’s over a decade past his prime, and he wasn’t what you’d call a high flyer even then. \u00a0Frankly, it’s hard to avoid the suspicion that when Kevin Nash climbs a ladder for any reason at all – say, to retrieve a suitcase from the attic – it’s an enterprise fraught with jeopardy.<\/p>\n Theoretically, he and Triple H are having a “friends who fell out” grudge feud, but it hasn’t really been connecting with the audience, most of whom are either too young to remember Nash, or old enough to know why they don’t want to see him wrestle. \u00a0Triple H, though semi-retired, is still capable of having perfectly good matches – but in a ladder match against Kevin Nash? \u00a0It’s almost unimaginable that this could be anything other than diabolical. \u00a0It should be fascinating.<\/p>\n Not to watch. \u00a0It’ll be unutterably boring to watch. \u00a0But it’ll be fascinating to read about later.<\/p>\n This is a slightly unusual ladder match (and hey, there might be a reason for that): suspended over the ring is Triple H’s sledgehammer, and whoever retrieves it gets to use it. \u00a0Triple H’s sledgehammer has always strained even the suspension of disbelief available to professional wrestling, but let’s leave that aside. \u00a0Two other points occur. \u00a0First, since retrieving the sledgehammer apparently does not<\/em>\u00a0end the match, presumably victory is by pinfall or submission – but if you can put your opponent down for long enough to climb the ladder, why not just pin them and be done with it? \u00a0(Okay, yes, granted, the theory is that they want to use the sledgehammer… but seriously now.) \u00a0And second, since ladder matches are no-DQ anyway, what’s to stop the other<\/em>\u00a0person from using the sledgehammer once their opponent has kindly retrieved it for them?<\/p>\n This has all the hallmarks of something that seemed a moderately good idea on paper, but doesn’t lend itself to a sensible match, and certainly doesn’t lend itself to the wrestlers who are being used. \u00a0I expect a train wreck, and not in a good way. \u00a0Triple H should presumably win, unless the company is somehow still convinced that there’s value in Nash.<\/p>\n 4. \u00a0Tables match: Randy Orton v Wade Barrett.<\/strong>\u00a0 Since Mark Henry is currently the Smackdown champion, and Orton can’t lose to him every month, Smackdown’s top babyface is occupying his time elsewhere. \u00a0Currently, he’s feuding with Wade Barrett, who used to have a main event role as leader of the Nexus, but was long since relegated back to the\u00a0midcard. \u00a0Having belatedly realised that they’re running short of main eventers, the company seems now to be trying to build Barrett up again – either that, or they’ve been trying to get him into a position where they can feed him to Orton for a couple of months. \u00a0Personally, I’d say Barrett needs this win a lot more than Orton does, and even if Orton’s bound to ultimately win the feud, Barrett ought to get a couple of wins along the way. \u00a0He may not be the greatest wrestler ever, but they simply have to position some more characters as potential title challengers, and Barrett’s a viable candidate for that role.<\/p>\n Of course, just because Barrett should <\/em>win, it doesn’t mean he will. \u00a0Still, this should be decent enough, as an upper midcard match.<\/p>\n 5. \u00a0Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes v Booker T.<\/strong>\u00a0 In recognition of the fact that they desperately need to make him a credible main evener down the line, Cody Rhodes has been liberated from his protective-mask gimmick and turned back into a straight wrestler. \u00a0Now, he’s going to defend his IC title (the secondary belt on Smackdown) against commentator Booker T. \u00a0Not quite<\/em>\u00a0sure that’s how I’d have tried to build Rhodes up.<\/p>\n That said, while Booker is retired, he’s not that<\/em>\u00a0long retired, and he still makes for a reasonably credible opponent. \u00a0Quite what happens if he actually wins is anybody’s guess, but something tells me that’s not going to be happening. \u00a0The whole point of bringing guys out of retirement is to put over the newer stars, and I assume that’s what Booker’s going to be doing. \u00a0Rhodes is good (though he’s yet to really come across as a credible main event star), and Booker was always fine when he was motivated, so I expect this to be solid.<\/p>\n 6. \u00a0United States Title: Dolph Ziggler v. Zack Ryder.<\/strong>\u00a0 Zack Ryder finally gets the title shot he’s been lobbying for for months. \u00a0Not that the writers have done him any favours here. \u00a0Ryder is supposed to be a beloved underdog babyface with a cult fan base – which he is, but entirely through his own efforts to publicise himself on YouTube. \u00a0The current writing team don’t seem to have a clue how to write this sort of character; the result is a weird stop-start push where he gets TV time but also gets regularly and cleanly beaten. \u00a0It would be one thing if he was constantly getting screwed over, but the reality is that the character just loses a lot, which begs the question of why we’re supposed to think that he deserves a shot at the US title.<\/p>\n That being said, he has<\/em>\u00a0at least been allowed to pin the heel champion on several occasions, which gives him some legitimate claim to a title match. \u00a0Given the build-up, this storyline really has to end with Ryder winning and becoming underdog champion (and boy, if you thought the WWE had a bad track record for writing underdog challengers, wait till you see what they do with underdog champions). \u00a0Since the WWE remains inexplicably averse to having its secondary champions compete for the world titles, losing the belt would also free Ziggler up for the main event stories that he really ought<\/em>\u00a0to be in – he’s long overdue for promotion to the top ranks.<\/p>\n That said, this is their first title match, and I think there’s some mileage in having the heels cheat to retain, so that Ryder gets his big win on the Royal Rumble in January instead. \u00a0Either is fine. \u00a0What definitely doesn’t<\/em>\u00a0work is a clean win for Ziggler, which just puts everyone back where they started; or a fluke win for Ryder, which just damages the title. \u00a0Sadly, it’s difficult to have confidence that the writing crew will avoid these obvious blunders. \u00a0Still, the actual match should be good.<\/p>\n Worth getting?<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, both main events are filler, the Smackdown main event isn’t promising, and the ladder match looks disastrous. \u00a0On the other hand, the Raw main event could at least be a good match, and the undercard is fairly promising. \u00a0It still looks like one to skip, if you ask me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Reviews later. \u00a0For now… let’s preview tonight’s WWE show. \u00a0TLC (Tables Ladders & Chairs) is a hangover from the period when the company was experimenting with gimmicks for every show, and also from the days when they were a lot more cavalier about the injury risks in matches. \u00a0TLC matches started as amped-up versions of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1193","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-wrestling"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1193","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1193"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1193\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1196,"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1193\/revisions\/1196"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1193"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1193"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1193"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}