The biggest, and longest, show of the year. \u00a0And also the one most heavily laden with veteran part-timers to boost the star power at the top end of the card – not exactly a ringing endorsement of the WWE’s faith in its current full-time roster. \u00a0Then again, this is also a card intended to have the greatest appeal to more casual fans who will only buy one show a year; hence the march of the semi-retired.<\/p>\n
1. \u00a0WWE Title: The Rock v John Cena.<\/strong> \u00a0The Rock has held the title since January, not that he’s done a great deal with it – aside from defending it on the February show, he’s not wrestled at all, and he’s only been a sporadic presence on the TV shows thanks to promotional work for his movies. \u00a0In short, he’s been an absentee champion, but since he’s meant to be a babyface this has generally been played down.<\/p>\n This is a rematch from last year’s show, except this time the title is on the line. \u00a0I’ve got no problem with using Rock in this role, but personally, this isn’t the match I’d have chosen to see him in; we’ve had it before. \u00a0Still, it’s probably the match with the most appeal to the casual audience, so you can see why they’re going with it. \u00a0Even so, the build has been a bit anaemic. \u00a0The story is\u00a0meant<\/em> to be that Cena is looking for redemption after his defeat last year, which supposedly set him off on a year of professional and personal setbacks. \u00a0The problem is that that isn’t how it was presented at the time; even though CM Punk was the champion for the whole year (and a babyface for much of it), Cena was still presented as the top star and continued to have big wins. \u00a0The mentions of his marriage breaking down are actually true, but it’s a bit of a strain to connect that to a wrestling match.<\/p>\n So there isn’t much of a compelling story to go with this match, or rather, the story they’re trying to tell doesn’t work because they didn’t do the necessary groundwork in earlier months. \u00a0Still, it was a good match last year and it should be good again this year. \u00a0It seems virtually certain that Cena will win, both to complete the storyline and to get the title back into regular circulation. \u00a0In fact, a lot of results on this show are pretty easy to predict, though in itself that’s not necessarily a bad thing; sometimes familiarity is all part of the satisfaction. \u00a0But the WWE does have a track record of going into panic mode when it realises that its cards are too predictable, so if there are one or two screwy results in the final show, it’s probably because they’ve overthought it and tried to wrongfoot the audience.<\/p>\n Rock is in fact booked for the next show too, presumably so he can get his obligatory rematch – but that does make it conceivable that he could retain. \u00a0I’d be very, very surprised, though.<\/p>\n 2. \u00a0The Undertaker v CM Punk.<\/strong> \u00a0The Undertaker has never lost at Wrestlemania, and for years this has been presented as a Very Big Deal. \u00a0Nowadays, he emerges from retirement for a short run each year to pick up another Wrestlemania victory. \u00a0The matches are inevitably somewhat predictable, because at this stage it would be folly to break the streak. \u00a0You throw away something the fans care about and you get not a great deal in return. \u00a0It’s possible to imagine an exception if the opponent is a rising star who really could be rocketed to the top of the card on the back of his upset win – but multi-time champion CM Punk is not that opponent.<\/p>\n The build for this match has been somewhat controversial. \u00a0Bill Moody – who played Undertaker’s original manager, the ludicrously named Paul Bearer – died a few weeks ago. \u00a0His death was instantly made into the focal point of the feud, with Punk as the heel being generally very tasteless about the whole thing. \u00a0By all accounts Moody was the sort of person unlikely to have a problem with this. \u00a0But it doesn’t really work as a storyline. \u00a0For one thing, it’s far too cartoonish to fit with the tone of the show as a whole; and for another, in the modern era the heel heat tends to rebound on the company itself rather than on Punk as the heel. \u00a0(It would be different if the death had been entirely fictional. \u00a0But when it’s genuine, the logic of the story – that Punk is acting unacceptably – implicitly extends to the people who are writing his material.)<\/p>\n I don’t have great hopes for this match. \u00a0Undertaker is getting on in years and is coming off an injury. \u00a0Punk has been actively downplaying expectations in interviews and generally signifying that we should expect a storyline-based match (probably based on him trying to taunt Undertaker into getting disqualified so that he can break the streak on a technicality). \u00a0A win for Undertaker is as close to inevitable as you’re ever going to get.<\/p>\n 3. \u00a0Triple H v Brock Lesnar (No Holds Barred Match; if Lesnar wins, Triple H must retire).<\/strong> \u00a0The march of the part-timers continues. \u00a0Former UFC champion Brock Lesnar is notionally on the regular roster but is signed to an extremely generous deal that requires him to work only a handful of dates each year. \u00a0Triple H is (in real life) the heir apparent to the company and has moved into a management role. \u00a0In theory this is the point where Triple H gets revenge on Lesnar for breaking his arm earlier in the year, and for attacking his father-in-law Vince McMahon; the stipulations were Lesnar’s conditions for accepting the match. \u00a0But there’s hardly much significance in attaching a retirement stipulation for a wrestler who has already retired. \u00a0One theory is that this is reverse psychology and the company is actively trying to imply that this might be Triple H’s official retirement match.<\/p>\n While that could be the case, it doesn’t seem very likely. \u00a0Lesnar’s deal has been renewed for another year, and it would make reasonable sense for him to win here, but on the other hand, Triple H really does need to win in order to resolve the current storyline and clear decks. \u00a0When the company remains this keen on wheeling out veterans for major shows, I don’t see Triple H going down to an official retirement stipulation any time soon.<\/p>\n Shawn Michaels is going to be in Triple H’s corner, though quite why is unclear; if he has to step in to help Triple H win then that’s not going to be hugely satisfying, given that the babyface really ought to be able to win without cheating in the blow-off match. \u00a0My expectation is that Triple H wins in the usual well-structured but slightly plodding brawl.<\/p>\n 4. \u00a0World Heavyweight Title: Alberto Del Rio v Jack Swagger.<\/strong>\u00a0 The\u00a0Smackdown<\/em> title is currently caught up in this rather clumsy feud. \u00a0Del Rio, originally a smarmy Mexican aristocrat, turned babyface out of the blue a while back and won the title. \u00a0The idea, which they’re quite open about, is to position him as the Mexican hero for the Latino fanbase, but his turn was so badly executed that he’s never really connected with the crowd in his new role.<\/p>\n Stage two of the attempt to create Alberto Del Rio: Mexican Hero is to feud him with Jack Swagger, previously a clean-cut but heelish All-American figure, who had a brief run on top before being relegated to the bottom of the card. \u00a0Out of nowhere, Swagger has been pushed back to the top and repackaged as a Tea Party anti-immigration right-winger, accompanied by new manager Zeb Colter.<\/p>\n The gimmick is more or less copied from indie wrestler RJ Brewer, who did an anti-immigration white heel character for the Lucha Libre USA promotion, with some success. \u00a0It also raised some eyebrows in right wing circles, since the WWE has generally been seen as a right wing promotion. \u00a0Despite the company’s familiar bleating that it’s only concerned with entertainment and not politics, it is hard to disagree that by casting Swagger’s anti-immigration stance as a heel trait, the company is tacitly endorsing the view that the Tea Party is at best worthy of mockery.<\/p>\n This storyline is not really working, for several reasons. \u00a0First, as noted, Del Rio isn’t over as a babyface. \u00a0Second, while the immigration angle may have worked for RJ Brewer, he was performing to lucha-themed crowds for whom it was a hot topic. \u00a0WWE crowds contain a lot more people who just don’t care, or who actually hold anti-immigration views. \u00a0And third, in a clumsy attempt to broaden the storyline’s appeal by having Del Rio talk up America as a land of opportunity, they’ve probably undermined his appeal to the minority of the audience who were supposed to like him in the first place. \u00a0It’s all a bit of a mess, really.<\/p>\n Bear in mind that, floating around in the background somewhere, there’s Dolph Ziggler, who still has his Money in the Bank briefcase entitling him to a shot at this title whenever he wants. \u00a0I would not be surprised in the slightest if Del Rio won this match and then lost to Ziggler in a cash-in match, to move us on to a more conventional and probably more successful feud. \u00a0Quite where that would leave Swagger is anyone’s guess, since his current character is designed exclusively to feud with Del Rio.<\/p>\n On the other hand, Swagger could win by cheating, in order to drag out the feud for another month. \u00a0This is one of the few major matches on the card where the outcome is genuinely up for grabs, and despite the clunky build, it also has the potential to be good once it gets into the ring – though in this company, it will be treated as a midcard match, not a proper main event. \u00a0On balance, my bet is that Del Rio wins.<\/p>\n 5. \u00a0Randy Orton, Sheamus & The Big Show v The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns & Seth Rollins).<\/strong>\u00a0 Another three main eventers join forces to take on the Shield, who remain unbeaten as a team. \u00a0Well, on TV, at any rate. \u00a0On the untelevised house shows they lose all the time – though even there the standard finish is that they get disqualified for using a foreign object, rather than having them lose decisively.<\/p>\n Will this be the point where the Shield finally get defeated? \u00a0I would say no. \u00a0They’re facing a trio consisting of two babyfaces and one heel. \u00a0Granted, Big Show is a heel that the Shield have attacked several times, so he’s got a sensible motivation to join with the babyfaces. \u00a0But the Shield’s whole deal, when they get into the ring, is that they’re a seamless team, and as such they beat makeshift trios of main eventers. \u00a0My guess is that either Big Show or Orton (who desperately needs something to kickstart his storylines) turns on the other members of his team and the Shield get the win after a good fast-paced match.<\/p>\n 6. \u00a0WWE Intercontinental Title: Wade Barrett v The Miz.<\/strong> \u00a0This match is being buried on the pre-show, which pretty much tells you how important the WWE think it is. \u00a0They have put some work into promoting this feud, but I just can’t see it being resolved on a throwaway match airing on YouTube. \u00a0Most likely Barrett retains by cheating so that the feud can continue next month.<\/p>\n Incidentally, Barrett is the only secondary singles champion wrestling on this show. \u00a0US Champion Antonio Cesaro is, for some reason, not booked on the show at all, despite being uninjured and having regularly excellent matches. \u00a0Nobody seems altogether sure why this is. \u00a0The Divas Champion, Kaitlyn, isn’t on the show either; the obvious match there would have been a defence against AJ Lee, but the storyline doesn’t seem to have reached that point yet.<\/p>\n 7. \u00a0Ryback v Mark Henry.<\/strong> \u00a0Obligatory match of the two big strong guys. \u00a0It probably won’t be an in-ring classic, and if they’ve got any sense they’ll keep it relatively short and build it around a few impressive power moves. \u00a0(Rumour suggests it may be going rather longer than that, though.)<\/p>\n Originally introduced as a monster babyface towards the end of this year, Ryback was elevated to the main event ahead of time when an injury to John Cena meant that an emergency replacement challenger was needed for CM Punk. \u00a0But Punk couldn’t lose the title without derailing plans for Wrestlemania, and so Ryback’s theoretical elevation has actually been a bit of a disaster; he used to come across as invincible, but now he’s the guy who always wins except when it actually counts. \u00a0He desperately needs a big win, and Henry can stand to take a loss, so anything other than a clean win for Ryback would be crazy.<\/p>\n If Ryback can actually deliver his finishing move to the enormous Mark Henry, it will be very impressive – it involves putting him in a fireman’s carry and marching around the ring. \u00a0But he’s had trouble with really big guys before, so that might be risky.<\/p>\n 8. \u00a0WWE Tag Team Titles: Team Hell No (Daniel Bryan & Kane) v Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston.<\/strong>\u00a0 The first of two in-ring debuts this year, which goes some way towards balancing out the old guard at the top of the card.<\/p>\n Well, that’s unless you watch the developmental show NXT, where Big E Langston is currently the babyface champion. \u00a0His gimmick is that he pins all his opponents for a five count instead of a three count, just to rub it in. \u00a0NXT is not broadcast in America, and while it’s theoretically in continuity with WWE proper, that continuity is very loose. \u00a0On the main roster, Langston is the\u00a0heel<\/em> bodyguard of Dolph Ziggler and AJ Lee, and will have his first actual match here.<\/p>\n Langston’s not bad, Kane’s an established veteran, and Bryan and Ziggler are both excellent, so \u00a0this has every chance to be a good match. \u00a0Team Hell No have held the titles for ages and have probably got as much use out of them as they’re ever going to, so a title change here would make sense. \u00a0Ziggler really needs to be given some momentum before he cashes in his Money in the Bank title shot (unless he’s going to lose, but what would the point of that be?), and this ought to be the first step.<\/p>\n 9. \u00a0Chris Jericho v Fandango.<\/strong>\u00a0 The other in-ring debut – kind of. \u00a0Fandango is a repackaged Johnny Curtis, who was on NXT back in the days when it was broadcast in America. \u00a0But it’s the first televised match for this\u00a0character<\/em>.<\/p>\n Fandango is a strange throwback. \u00a0He’s an evil ballroom dancer, the sort of cartoon gimmick that was prevalent around 1990 but hasn’t been much seen in recent years. \u00a0On top of that, he’s been cast in this role despite displaying no apparent aptitude for dance whatsoever. \u00a0And his appearances to date have involved him coming out for matches but refusing to wrestle after throwing a camp temper tantrum because the ring announcer has failed to pronounce his name to his satisfaction. \u00a0(“You have to breathe the As.”)<\/p>\n Still, his highly elaborate entrance and pairing with former champion Chris Jericho makes clear that the company has high hopes for him, so hopefully his wrestling is better than his dancing. \u00a0It’s pretty much guaranteed that Fandango will win – anything else would be a burial and they wouldn’t be wasting time on Wrestlemania to do that. \u00a0The real question is about whether he can deliver in the ring. \u00a0The match is likely to be decent – if you can’t have a good match with Chris Jericho, there’s no hope for you. \u00a0But the pressure is really on him to impress.<\/p>\n 10. \u00a0Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay & Tensai) & The Funkadactyls (Naomi Knight & Cameron Lynn) v Team Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes & Damian Sandow) & The Bella Twins (Brie Bella & Nikki Bella).<\/strong> \u00a0An eight person mixed tag of no particular importance. \u00a0It’s probably there as a schedule buffer to give them some leeway on running time.<\/p>\n Worth getting?<\/strong> \u00a0They’ve had stronger cards, to be honest, and some of the main events are maybe of more interest to the casual fans than the hardcore. \u00a0But yes, it’s worth getting.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The biggest, and longest, show of the year. \u00a0And also the one most heavily laden with veteran part-timers to boost the star power at the top end of the card – not exactly a ringing endorsement of the WWE’s faith in its current full-time roster. \u00a0Then again, this is also a card intended to have 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