Right, the biggest WWE show of the year. \u00a0The fact that it’s now thrown in with the Network subscription, and that the network is available worldwide, makes it logically less significant\u00a0financially than it used to be. \u00a0And that’s probably why there are no big name guest stars this years. \u00a0On top of that, the company’s increasingly\u00a0dodgy writing has not provided the most inspiring build. \u00a0But it should still be good in the ring.<\/p>\n
I’m watching this on the WWE Network as I write. \u00a0I haven’t read the results, as usual. \u00a0So basically first draft.<\/p>\n
Okay, let’s get started.<\/p>\n
We’re in the Levi’s Stadium in\u00a0“the San Francisco Bay Area”. \u00a0It’s ridiculously large for\u00a0a wrestling\u00a0show. \u00a0The people at the back\u00a0will be getting a better view if they watch their mobile phones. \u00a0Hell, the people a third of the way back will be getting a better view etc etc. \u00a0We’re outside in broad daylight (as we will be all\u00a0show), which is an unusual atmosphere.<\/p>\n
I’m not doing the pre-show, even though there were two matches on it. \u00a0The show itself is four hours long, for god’s sake.<\/p>\n
–\u00a0Aloe Blacc<\/strong> sings\u00a0America The Beautiful<\/em>.<\/p>\n – Video package about\u00a0how wonderful and inspiring entertainment is. \u00a0Okay.<\/p>\n 1. \u00a0WWE Intercontinental Title – Ladder Match:<\/strong>\u00a0Daniel Bryan v. Bad News Barrett\u00a0\u00a9 v. Dolph Ziggler v. Stardust v. Luke Harper v. R-Truth v. Dean Ambrose.<\/strong><\/p>\n Why are they fighting?<\/em> \u00a0Well, it’s a title match where they’re dumping the guys who have nothing else to do, basically. \u00a0it’s designed to be a hot opener, though there’s a big range of importance\u00a0here between the upper main eventers (Bryan, Ziggler, Ambrose), the mid carders (Barrett, Harper) and the are-they-still-under-contract (Stardust, R-Truth). \u00a0There’s been a dreadful build for this match involving everyone stealing the title belt\u00a0from each other, which I suppose at least\u00a0goes some way to justify the visual of them fighting to retrieve the belt.<\/p>\n The match:<\/em> Fast start\u00a0with everyone doing dives. \u00a0R-Truth tries to climb but he’s scared of heights,\u00a0which is meant to be funny. \u00a0Everyone takes turns to climb and get stopped. \u00a0It’s not what you’d call a story-driven match, but then multi-way ladder matches never are. \u00a0Stardust gets superplexed from the top of a ladder. \u00a0Ambrose gets power bombed through a gimmicked\u00a0ladder at ringside. \u00a0Barrett lays everyone else out with the Bull Hammer, except for Bryan. \u00a0Bryan gets rid of Barrett and climbs for the belt, but Ziggler pops up to stop him. \u00a0They trade headbutts,\u00a0Ziggler falls, and Bryan\u00a0retrieves the title to win.<\/p>\n Upshot:<\/em>\u00a0On paper this is a major step down for Bryan – the IC title is a lower mid card title – but there is talk that they’re finally going to have a stab at pushing the secondary titles more effectively. \u00a0We’ll see how that goes. \u00a0That was a good opener, anyway. \u00a0Not too\u00a0dangerous as these things go, and I appreciate\u00a0that the guys who took the big spots didn’t get back up two minutes later.<\/p>\n – Advert for the clothing line.<\/p>\n 2. \u00a0Randy Orton v. Seth Rollins (w\/Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury).<\/strong><\/p>\n Why are they fighting?<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0Rollins joined the Authority, usurped Orton’s position as the faction’s\u00a0top in-ring guy, and tried to take Orton out for good. \u00a0Orton turns face – or at least antihero – in response, and wants revenge. \u00a0Rollins still has his Money in the Bank title shot, by the way,\u00a0so he’s presumably getting the World Title sooner or later, and ought to be kept reasonably strong for that purpose. \u00a0Noble and Mercury (“J&J Security”) are retired mid carders now serving as the Authority’s\u00a0Keystone\u00a0Cop bodyguards.<\/p>\n The match:<\/em>\u00a0Technical start. \u00a0Orton goes for the RKO early, but doesn’t get it. \u00a0He tries again, but J&J Security distract him, so he takes them out instead. \u00a0Rollins uses\u00a0the confusion to hit a big dive\u00a0and gain\u00a0control. \u00a0He\u00a0tries for\u00a0his curb\u00a0stomp\u00a0finisher,\u00a0but Orton reverses. \u00a0 Orton\u00a0gets the RKO on something like the fourth\u00a0attempt, but\u00a0Rollins kicks out. \u00a0Orton tries for\u00a0his punt, but J&J Security run in to block it. \u00a0(Which ought to be\u00a0a DQ, but I guess the logic is that\u00a0\u00a0Orton hit them first. \u00a0A better reason would have been that\u00a0the punt is an illegal move anyway.) \u00a0Rollins hits the curb stomp, but it only gets 2. \u00a0He blocks another RKO, but another curb stomp attempt is somehow (and yet quite fluidly) reversed into a second\u00a0RKO for the pin. \u00a0Orton wins.<\/p>\n Upshot:<\/em>\u00a0Orton wins in the expected\u00a0finisher-trading\u00a0Wrestlemania match. \u00a0Presumably the blow-off to their feud. \u00a0Even enough to keep\u00a0Rollins strong, and\u00a0a\u00a0nice finishing sequence.<\/p>\n –\u00a0Ronda Rousey<\/strong>, the UFC Women’s Bantamweight Champion, is in the crowd.<\/p>\n 3. \u00a0Sting v. Triple H.<\/strong><\/p>\n Why are they wrestling?<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0Sting was\u00a0one of the top guys in WCW,\u00a0and this is a sort of coda to his career. \u00a0He’s still in good shape. \u00a0He says he’s here to stop Triple H\u00a0screwing up WWE the way that WCW’s\u00a0management did for it. \u00a0Triple H sees this as an opportunity to destroy the last vestige of WCW. \u00a0There’s nothing explicitly on the line here, so a win for Sting would seem sensible, but it’s hard to see where it goes. \u00a0Victory is by pin or submission only (so expect a lot of\u00a0ringside brawling, then).<\/p>\n The match:<\/em>\u00a0Triple H has\u00a0an outrageously camp entrance themed on\u00a0Terminator<\/em>, of all things. \u00a0They trade basics, and Sting gets the upper hand. \u00a0“You still got it” chant. \u00a0Sting dominates the first few minutes, but makes the mistake of following outside, where he misses a Stinger Splash and hits the barricade. \u00a0Triple H takes control. \u00a0The commentators are burying Sting for not coming to WWE earlier, pushing a WWE-vs-WCW angle which doesn’t really reflect the crowd reaction. \u00a0Sting makes his comeback and\u00a0applies\u00a0his\u00a0Scorpion Deathlock finisher. \u00a0The DX music fires up and\u00a0Road Dogg,\u00a0Billy Gunn<\/strong> and\u00a0X-Pac<\/strong> run in – to be instantly despatched by Sting. \u00a0HHH tries for his Pedigree,\u00a0but gets blocked. \u00a0Another distraction lets him\u00a0hit it\u00a0on the second attempt, but Sting kicks out. \u00a0Amazing how much less effective finishers are at Wrestlemania. \u00a0It’s the atmosphere, you see. \u00a0The adrenalin. \u00a0Triple H fetches his sledgehammer, and\u00a0this time the nWo music starts. \u00a0It’s\u00a0Kevin Nash, Hulk Hogan<\/strong> and\u00a0Scott Hall<\/strong>. \u00a0The nursing homes must be empty today. \u00a0Anyhow, the nWo easily despatch DX, and Sting hits the Scorpion Death Drop for 2. \u00a0A second Scorpion Deathlock follows. \u00a0HHH tries to reach his sledgehammer, but Hogan takes it away. \u00a0More brawling on the outside while HHH continues to\u00a0nobly resist the submission for an implausibly long period. \u00a0Finally he makes the ropes. \u00a0Sting tries for a third Scorpion Deathlock, but\u00a0the other DX member\u00a0Shawn Michaels<\/strong> runs in and\u00a0Superkicks Sting. \u00a0HHH covers, but Sting still kicks out at 2. \u00a0Triple H gets his sledgehammer, but Sting is handed his signature WCW-era baseball bat. \u00a0The baseball bat destroys the sledgehammer, which is certainly remarkable physics. \u00a0Triple H still uses the sledgehammer head to whack Sting in the head and pin him. \u00a0Somewhat improbably, they shake hands after the match.<\/p>\n Upshot:<\/em>\u00a0Well, that exhausted California’s\u00a0smoke and mirrors supply, didn’t it? \u00a0But both guys are getting on in years, and the\u00a0bottom line is that it worked with the crowd, who clearly took it as the 90s-war\u00a0nostalgia fest that it was intended as. \u00a0I\u00a0can<\/em> see an argument for Triple H winning,\u00a0though they’re increasingly booking themselves into a corner with a dominant heel who can never be meaningfully beaten\u00a0short of writing him out of the show permanently. \u00a0But if they’re doing a rematch at\u00a0Summerslam<\/em>,\u00a0Triple H should win here; and if Sting had won here, the lack of consequence would be a problem too. \u00a0Thing is, they shouldn’t have booked a match with no apparent consequences in the first place.<\/p>\n – Trailers for some shows on WWE Network. \u00a0Oh christ, the Diva Search is back.<\/p>\n –\u00a0Backstage promo: legends\u00a0congratulate Daniel Bryan on his title win. \u00a0Well, that was a minute of airtime.<\/p>\n –\u00a0Skylar Grey, Travis Barker<\/strong> and\u00a0Kid Ink<\/strong> do a song,\u00a0to\u00a0little discernible crowd interest.<\/p>\n 4. \u00a0Paige & AJ Lee v. Brie Bella & Nikki Bella.<\/strong><\/p>\n Why are they wrestling?<\/em> Oh, just because. \u00a0They’re women on the main roster, so they don’t have consistent personalities, use squabbles. \u00a0The Bellas are the heels, if it matters. \u00a0But this\u00a0is<\/em>\u00a0an interesting match because of the emergence of the #givedivasachance campaign to get more time for women’s matches on the main roster – something that the company has obliquely acknowledged and that many of the performers have explicitly supported. \u00a0So how long will they get?<\/p>\n The match:<\/em>\u00a0The Bellas take AJ out and work over Paige. \u00a0Boy, it doesn’t take much to keep AJ down, does it? \u00a0The story is that every time AJ gets back on the apron, the Bellas take her out. \u00a0Nikki hits the Rack Attack on Paige, but it’s Wrestlemania, so Paige kicks out. \u00a0Finally Paige makes her own comeback,\u00a0and takes out both Bellas on her own before making the hot tag to AJ, who is suddenly feeling fine despite having spent five minutes reeling on the floor outside. \u00a0AJ goes for the Black Widow on Nikki, but Brie breaks it up. \u00a0Paige takes out Brie, and AJ re-applies the Widow for the win.<\/p>\n The upshot:\u00a0<\/em>Basic and relatively short, with a couple of awkward looking spots,\u00a0but it\u00a0was<\/em> a proper match with enough time to tell a meaningful story, certainly by the standards of the main roster women. \u00a0Not a fan of having people sell borderline unconsciousness from falling three feet to the floor\u00a0and being fine when they finally get tagged in, though. \u00a0Consistency of ground rules, people!<\/p>\n – Hall of Fame video package.<\/p>\n 5. \u00a0WWE United States Title:\u00a0Rusev\u00a0\u00a9 (w\/Lana) v John Cena.<\/strong><\/p>\n Why are they fighting?<\/em> \u00a0Because Rusev is a\u00a0dastardly undefeated Russian (well, Bulgarian, but shhh), and Cena is a noble patriot who must liberate the United States Title from him. \u00a0Rusev already beat Cena\u00a0in February, but it took a low blow. \u00a0There’s also an apparent secondary project to rehabilitate the US Title, first by having it on a\u00a0dominant heel for an extended run, and then by having an established main eventer like Cena treat it as a big deal. \u00a0Rusev’s estranged manager Lana is back with him thanks to an angle on the pre-show. \u00a0(She was actually written off so that she could go and film a movie, but evidently they had second thoughts about leaving her off this show.)<\/p>\n The match:<\/em>\u00a0Cena explodes off the blocks, but Rusev\u00a0cuts him off and beats him up before pausing to pose with the Russian flag. \u00a0Unsurprisingly,\u00a0that lets Cena mount a comeback, but Rusev escapes the Attitude Adjustment and goes back to taking most of the match. \u00a0Cena applies the\u00a0STF. \u00a0Lana throws her\u00a0shoe into the ring, which I assume was meant to hit Cena, but didn’t. \u00a0Rusev makes the ropes anyway. \u00a0 Rusev escapes a second AA attempt\u00a0and goes back to the Accolade, but Cena powers out – the first time that’s been done, but it’s Wrestlemania and you can do that. \u00a0 Lana distracts Cena, but heel miscommunication leads to Rusev knocking her off the apron\u00a0himself. \u00a0Cena hits the\u00a0AA on the third go and gets the pin. \u00a0Afterwards, Lana\u00a0is selling an injured ankle, but Rusev walks off and leaves her. \u00a0.)<\/p>\n The upshot:<\/em>\u00a0Odd to see Cena wrestling third from the top of the card, but they\u00a0are<\/em> on a\u00a0drive to convince us that a changing of the guard is coming, and part of that is to move Cena into a veteran role. \u00a0An odd side effect is that the crowd liked Cena a lot more than super-hardcore audiences usually do, but that may have translated more into\u00a0apathy than actual support. \u00a0Good match. \u00a0Cena wouldn’t have been my choice to beat Rusev but\u00a0if they’re serious about rehabbing the US Title then this\u00a0will certainly help. \u00a0We’ll see how long that lasts, though.<\/p>\n –\u00a0Highlights of the pre-show.<\/p>\n –\u00a0The Authority<\/strong>\u00a0(Triple H and Stephanie McMahon) do a promo. \u00a0They announce some no-doubt-fabricated attendance record and do their usual schtick. \u00a0The Rock<\/strong> interrupts and issues a challenge to Triple H. \u00a0Triple H says no. \u00a0Stephanie slaps the Rock and orders him to leave. \u00a0Rock won’t hit a woman, so he\u00a0heads to the front row and fetches Ronda Rousey, who is less concerned. \u00a0(They’re both in\u00a0Furious 7<\/em>, apparently.) \u00a0She\u00a0helps drive the Authority out of the ring. \u00a0That took going on twenty minutes what with all the pausing for reaction, but the crowd enjoyed it.<\/p>\n 6. \u00a0Bray Wyatt v. The Undertaker.<\/strong><\/p>\n Why are they fighting?<\/em> \u00a0Undertaker’s\u00a0unbeaten streak at Wrestlemania ended last year when he was beaten by Brock Lesnar, and he hasn’t been seen since. \u00a0Wyatt, whose cult-leader schtick is along not dissimilar lines, has issued this challenge in an attempt to make his name and prove that the torch has been passed. \u00a0Undertaker, presumably, just doesn’t want to end his career on a high-profile loss. \u00a0I’m assuming Undertaker wins here, since the value in beating him was cashed in last year.<\/p>\n The match:<\/em>\u00a0Well, we get pretty much the whole of Wyatt’s awesome theme music, so that’s good. \u00a0They can’t dim the lights for Undertaker’s entrance (because it’s still daylight), so we get a ton of smoke and the camera moves up the entrance ramp until it alights on\u2026 a techie crossing the stage. \u00a0Whoops. \u00a0Oh, here’s the Undertaker. \u00a0Hello, Undertaker.<\/p>\n Undertaker\u00a0dominates with his signature stuff, because that’s what people want from the annual Undertaker match. \u00a0Wyatt makes a\u00a0fairly basic comeback. \u00a0Weird spot where\u00a0Wyatt whacks Undertaker’s head against the ring post but\u00a0injures his own leg against the ring steps in the process. \u00a0I don’t know what they were going for there, but Wyatt looked a complete moron in the execution. \u00a0Undertaker goes for his\u00a0Hell’s Gate submission, but Wyatt blocks. \u00a0Wyatt gets 2 from a\u00a0big slam and a running senton. \u00a0He\u00a0goes for the Sister Abigail, but Undertaker blocks, chokeslams, and hits the Tombstone. \u00a0Wyatt kicks out! \u00a0Okay, I bought that as the finish, actually. \u00a0Wyatt escapes a second Tombstone\u00a0attempt and hits his Sister Abigail for 2. \u00a0Both guys sell exhaustion as they trade blows. \u00a0Undertaker blocks another Sister Abigail attempt, and hits a second Tombstone for the pin. The upshot:<\/em> That was pretty ordinary unless you’re really into the mythology of Undertaker at Wrestlemania. \u00a0But he’s\u00a0fifty years old now, and\u00a0if he was going to come back at all, he needed to win – having him come back for a second consecutive loss would just\u00a0have been sad.<\/p>\n 7. \u00a0WWE World Heavyweight Title: Brock Lesnar\u00a0\u00a9 (w\/ Paul Heyman) v Roman Reigns.<\/strong><\/p>\n Why are they fighting?<\/em>\u00a0 Well, because Lesnar’s the champion – even though he has an incredibly favourable contract that requires very few dates, so he hardly ever defends – and Reigns\u00a0got a title shot by winning the 2015 Royal Rumble. \u00a0The original idea here was for Reigns to be the rising star who would triumphantly win the title on the big show, but the crowd doesn’t seem to be buying him in that role. \u00a0It doesn’t help that they’ve saddled him with the new tag line “I Can. \u00a0I Will.”, which, as somebody online pointed out – I\u00a0forget who, I’m sorry – makes it sound like Lesnar is defending against The Little Engine That Could. \u00a0Lesnar is supposed to be the heel, but he’s just re-signed with the company and announced his retirement from UFC,\u00a0and the general prediction is that the hardcore\u00a0fans that dominate a Wrestlemania crowd will be firmly behind him. \u00a0I feel rather sorry for Reigns,\u00a0since the backlash is really directed at the writing rather than at him personally. \u00a0A double-turn is a definite possibility.<\/p>\n The match: <\/em>Both guys basically make their regular entrance with added pyro, which is\u00a0in character. \u00a0Paul Heyman\u00a0does\u00a0Lesnar’s ring announcement,\u00a0which\u00a0is naturally awesome. \u00a0Reigns charges, and it doesn’t go well. \u00a0Lesnar hits the F5 within\u00a0the first minute but doesn’t cover. \u00a0He’s apparently in the mood to really destroy someone. \u00a0That rarely seems to be a good idea, Brock, but we’ll see how it works out for you. \u00a0Brock\u00a0is basically mocking Reigns, no-selling his punches and throwing him about the ring. \u00a0Finally Lesnar hits a second F5 and covers, but Reigns kicks out at 2. \u00a0More suplexes\u00a0and a third F5, but again Reigns kicks out at 2. \u00a0They go outside, and Reigns manages to send Lesnar head first into the ring post. \u00a0Lesnar is bleeding and looks dazed. \u00a0This is Reigns’ opening. \u00a0Three Superman Punches and two spears finally get Brock down for a 2-count. \u00a0Reigns tries for a fourth Superman Punch but gets caught and F5-ed. \u00a0Both guys are down. \u00a0Suddenly,\u00a0Seth Rollins<\/strong> runs out to cash in his Money in the Bank title shot by adding himself to the match. \u00a0He\u00a0hits a curb stomp on Brock. \u00a0Brock blocks a second, but Reigns spears him out of the ring. \u00a0Rollins\u00a0quickly pins Reigns with\u00a0a curb stomp to win the title, and runs away with the belt before Lesnar can do anything about it.<\/p>\n The upshot:<\/i> Well, courage in defeat, and all that. \u00a0The crowd\u00a0weren’t going to get behind a Reigns win, so I guess instead the plan is to put the character over as\u00a0never quitting, and the performer over as paying his dues. \u00a0They get the title back into circulation; they’ve set up Orton, Reigns and Lesnar as challengers for the title; and given that Rollins could never have beaten Lesnar in a fair fight, he’s actually done something smart by adding himself to an existing match so that he can win the belt by pinning someone else. \u00a0Lesnar is kept strong and set up for a babyface turn when he\u00a0returns later in the year to fight Rollins, and Reigns hopefully gets some sympathy out of it. \u00a0Pretty\u00a0successful match, all told, and it’s always good to see them break from the usual format.<\/p>\n Worth seeing?<\/strong> \u00a0Sure, certainly\u00a0at WWE Network prices. \u00a0No bad matches here –\u00a0the women’s tag and the Undertaker match are a bit ordinary, but that’s the worst you can say – and the main event really works for me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Right, the biggest WWE show of the year. \u00a0The fact that it’s now thrown in with the Network subscription, and that the network is available worldwide, makes it logically less significant\u00a0financially than it used to be. \u00a0And that’s probably why there are no big name guest stars this years. \u00a0On top of that, the company’s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2993","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-wrestling"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2993","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2993"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2993\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2995,"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2993\/revisions\/2995"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2993"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2993"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.housetoastonish.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2993"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/del><\/p>\n