This is the chart that covers Christmas Day itself. It also covers the three days after Christmas, when you might think the Christmas music would be tailing off a bit. But if it did, then the effect was swamped by everyone hammering the Christmas playlists in the first half of the week. And so we’re looking at another all-Christmas post.

1. Wham! – “Last Christmas”

Four weeks this year, seven in total. I’m pretty sure the Christmas records will be gone next week – last year, “Last Christmas” dived from number 1 straight out of the top 100. The top three are all non-movers, with Sam Ryder at 2 and Mariah Carey at 5. Most of the chart consists of the existing Christmas records squeezing up another place or two, but that does free up some space at the bottom for five new tracks – all of them Christmas.

35. Michael Jackson & The Jackson Five – “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”

Just think, there could be future generations for whom Michael Jackson’s reputation rests entirely on “Thriller” and “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”. Ask Wizzard if you don’t believe me. This track was recorded for the “Jackson 5 Christmas Album” in 1970, and wasn’t released as a single at the time. It first charted in 2018 when it got to number 30, but hasn’t managed to establish itself as a chart regular. It got to 40 last year.

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It’s the Christmas number one, and at long last…

1. Wham! – “Last Christmas”

That’s three weeks, and six in total, if you count 2020 and 2022. But this is the first time that it’s actually been the Christmas number one – on its first release it ran into Band Aid, and over the last few years, the Christmas number one has been monopolised by Ladbaby’s charity singles. He didn’t release one this year, and nothing else emerged to fill the gap either, leaving us with a battle between Wham representing the back catalogue, and Sam Ryder’s “You’re Christmas To Me”, which climbs 10-2 this week – matching the peak of his Eurovision song “Space Man” last year.

The Christmas tracks still dominate the chart – there are 33 of them this week – but things may start freeing up next week, since Christmas Day falls four days into the streaming week. Then again, maybe people will absolutely hammer the Christmas tracks in the first half of the week. We’ll see.

20. Cher – “DJ Play a Christmas Song”

Climbing from last week’s number 41, and probably helped by her doing it on the final of Strictly Come Dancing. Cher hasn’t had a hit single since “I Hope You Find It” reached number 25 in 2013, though in fairness, it’s not like she’s released much.

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It’s mid-December, but we won’t have as much Christmas music this week as you might think, simply because the charts are so rammed with Christmas material already. So…

1. Wham! – “Last Christmas”

Two weeks. Perhaps more surprising is that there are still some non-Christmas records hanging in at the top of the chart. That’s mainly because the downweighting rule doesn’t apply to them, admittedly, but Mariah Carey drops back to number 3 this week, allowing Noah Kahan back to number 2. Unexpectedly, our highest new entry this week is…

29. Jack Harlow & Dave – “Stop Giving Me Advice”

This is a track from the upcoming Lyrical Lemonade album “All is Yellow”. The Chart Company is listing Lyrical Lemonade as a co-artist, but it’s more of a company than an artist, and the video itself only credits Dave and Harlow as the artists, so I’ll go with that. This is the sort of unlikely collaboration between two high profile artists that can make some sort of impact even in the madness of the Christmas charts.

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Merry Christmas.

1. Wham! – “Last Christmas”

Well, yes, here we go again. It’s the first full week of December and here comes Wham! again. “Last Christmas” only reached number 2 on release in 1984, thanks to Band Aid, but it had a week at number 1 just after Christmas 2020, and two non-consecutive weeks at number 1 last year. It now gets a fourth week at number 1. I believe this is the first time that the same song has been number 1 on four separate occasions, unless you count the multiple versions of “Three Lions” as the same song. It’s a safe bet that this record is going to be sewn up by Christmas records for the future.

Right, then, bring on the tinsel parade.

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Ah, early December. That period when almost no new singles are released because it’s nearly Christmas, but the annual festive march hasn’t reached the top end of the chart just yet, and so whatever’s at the top of the chart tends to stay there for now.

1. Jack Harlow – “Lovin On Me”

That’s three weeks, with Noah Kahan’s “Stick Season” climbing to 2 – I suppose it’s just possible he might sneak a week at number 1 before Christmas. Bear in mind that it’s only holding on at number 1 because all of the Christmas back catalogue is subject to the downweighting rule.

17. Ed Sheeran & Elton John – “Merry Christmas”

Well, except for this – it’s recent enough that the chart rules still allow it to be reset to normal if it has a sudden suge in sales. But the Christmas streaming playlists are swamping the charts – we’ll see the march of last week’s new entries in a bit. This spent three weeks at number 1 on its release in 2021, and reached number 3 again last year.

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The Christmas deluge is on its way. But it’s not here quite yet.

1. Jack Harlow – “Lovin On Me”

Two weeks. This is actually growing on me, even though everything tells me I ought to hate it.

12. Tate McRae – “Exes”

Boldly, a new release just before Christmas, and with the previous single “Greedy” returning to its peak of number 3 this week, after spending ten straight weeks in the top 10. If you’re releasing singles at now, then either you’re not interested in airplay or (more likely) you’re hoping to be one of the singles poised to benefit from the post-Christmas crash when nothing else is around. That’s probably the plan here, but it’s… not very good?

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Predictably, the Beatles don’t manage two weeks. Their chart score last week was heavy on the physical sales, and while some more physical copies were released in week two (which is why they were number one on the midweeks), reality has reasserted itself. “Now and Then” drops to number 6 in its second week, still eminently respectable.

So does that mean that cässo finally gets his week at number 1 with “Prada”? Well, no. It doesn’t.

1. Jack Harlow – “Lovin On Me”

That’s Jack Harlow’s first number one, though he was unlucky not to make it with “First Class”, which spent five weeks locked at number 2 behind Harry Styles. I wouldn’t have placed it as an obvious number 1, but it does grow on you, and the midweeks have it staying for a second week.. It’s (presumably) the lead single from his next album. The sample is from a 1995 track called “Whatever (Bass Soliloquy)” by Cadillac Dale, which doesn’t seem to have been a hit anywhere on release.

“Lovin On Me” is a slight surprise as a number 1, not because of the Beatles, but because it comes out in the same week as…

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Really?

I mean, really?

1. The Beatles – “Now and Then”

Okay, so. This was at number 42 last week because it was released in time to get 10 hours of streaming registered for last week’s chart. That would have been an artificially low placing, because only a few streamers report data that late, and the figures for the others would have been estimated from their data earlier in the week (which, in the case of a last minute release, is zero).

However, it’s not number one thanks to streaming. Its chart score is equivalent to 78,200 sales, which includes 38,000 physical copies, and a further 10,000 odd downloads. No record has sold that volume of physical copies since the 2014 X Factor winner, because that’s just not how regular audiences consume music any more. Obviously, something that can be marketed as a last Beatles single appeals heavily to an audience who rarely pay attention to new releases and haven’t updated their format preferences in 20 years or more.

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For two weeks, Kenya Grace’s “Strangers” has held off cässo’s “Prada” by a tiny margin. This week, “Strangers” drops to number 4. Is it finally cässo’s time? No, of course it isn’t.

1. Taylor Swift – “Is It Over Now (Taylor’s Version)”
2. Taylor Swift – “Now That We Don’t Talk (Taylor’s Version)”
5. Taylor Swift – “‘Slut!’ (Taylor’s Version)”

The maximum three songs from “1989 (Taylor’s Version)”, which enters the album chart as her 11th number 1. These three are all previously unreleased “vault” songs, which understandably get the most attention from her fanbase.

I’d say these songs have placed in reverse order of interest? “Is It Over Now” is very much what you’d expect from a song that didn’t make the cut for a Taylor Swift album, and what sort of lyric is “Oh Lord, I think about jumping / Off of very tall somethings”? “Now That We Don’t Talk” is a rather better break-up song, and “‘Slut!'” appears to be a song about the reaction from her famous boyfriend’s fans.

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This is a very quiet week for new entries.

1. Kenya Grace – “Strangers”

But first, a third week at number 1 for Kenya Grace, still with a razor-thin margin over “Prada” by cassö at number 2.

9. The Kid Laroi, Jung Kook & Central Cee – “Too Much”

Now that’s an unusual combination – and no, Central Cee isn’t just doing a guest verse for the UK release. He’s been having international success for a while, and this is his third top ten hit in Australia. Between the three singers it covers enough bases to make it a natural hit, though the record itself is… well, kind of meh? Justin Bieber has a songwriting credit on it, apparently because it was originally going to be a Kid Laroi/Bieber single. Mind you, eight other people also have songwriting credits on this, and it sounds like it.

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