Busy, busy week.  Let’s get to it.

1.  Ariana Grande – “Thank U Next” 

Two weeks, and it’s the first time Ariana Grande has managed that.  This is doing huge business on streaming – 9.76 million in a week, a record for the year – for a chart score more than double the number two single, “Shallow”.  So it’s probably going to be here for a while.  It’s a little unexpected, since even after cementing her celebrity status, Ariana Grande has been more of a top ten level artist (her last number one was four years ago).

We have to go some way down to hit the first new entry…

17.  Charli XCX featuring Troye Sivan – “1999”

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We’ve got a tenth anniversary podcast coming up this weekend, but first, here’s the chart post…

1.  Ariana Grande – “thank u next”

This was released two days into the chart week, but still beats the incumbent number one (“Shallow”) by 50%  or so.  It was a relatively low-selling number one, admittedly.  But even so, it’s an achievement for a midweek release to enter at the top.  Records do still enter at number one, but it’s no longer the norm, and it’s not particularly something we expect of Ariana Grande – her only previous UK number ones were “Problem” and “Bang Bang”, both in 2014.  This song probably benefits from name checking her actual ex-boyfriends, and thus making itself part of her personal narrative, but it’s a decent enough single on its own terms.

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A relative handful of new entries this week…

1.  Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper – “Shallow” 

Two weeks.  To be honest, it’s been a bit lucky – it’s a quiet period, and it’s managed both weeks on sales that wouldn’t normally get the job done.  On the other hand, it’s still gaining momentum, so it could still have another week in it.

14.  XXXTentacion & Lil Pump featuring Maluma & Swae Lee – “Arms Around You”

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Now here’s something I didn’t expect to see in 2018.

1.  Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper – “Shallow”

Yes, it’s the fifth Lady Gaga number one!  The other four were “Just Dance”, “Poker Face”, “Bad Romance”, and “Telephone” – all of which were reached number one during her imperial phase of 2009/10.  So it’s been eight years, and until the A Star Is Born soundtrack came along, it was frankly looking as if the hits had dried up and it was off to Vegas/album-chart purgatory with her.  Her career bodyswerve with the move into acting has worked wonders.

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Boy, there’s not much of interest going on here…

1.  Calvin Harris & Sam Smith – “Promises”

Oh, this again?  “Promises” returns to number one for a sixth week after what turns out to have been a brief interruption by Dave’s “Funky Friday”.  That track slips to 2.  It’s fairly  close – the equivalent of 1,026 sales.

5.  Little Mix featuring Nicki Minaj – “Woman Like Me”

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Well, this is a surprise.

1.  Dave featuring Fredo – “Funky Friday”

Not so much because Calvin Harris and Sam Smith’s “Promises” gets knocked back to number 2 after a five-week run – that feels about right.  But this was behind in the midweeks.  It’s an independently released track.  And while Dave – also sometimes known as Santan Dave – has had hit singles before, the biggest was “No Words”, which never got above number 17.  On top of that, while Dave’s a pretty accessible rapper so far as things like delivery and subject matter go, this is still a minimal, mid-paced track without any conventional chorus.  It’s good, but it’s not an obvious number one in any way.  But here we are.

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There’s a podcast one post down!  Go listen to that!

But if you’re here for the chart…

1.  Calvin Harris & Sam Smith – “Promises”

Five weeks.  Not much more to be said about that, so…

13.  Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper – “Shallow”

Welcome to the post-imperial phase of Lady Gaga’s career.  After a string of big hits between 2009 and 2011, her last two albums struggled to get traction beyond their lead singles.  Diminishing returns have plainly set in, so a drastic change of tack is called for.  And here it is: she’s turned to acting, in a country-rock musical.  It’s a remake of A Star is Born, originally dating from 1937, but also done with Judy Garland and James Mason in the fifties, and Barbara Streisand and Kris Kristofferson in the seventies.  Bradley Cooper, who also directs the film, is naturally making his first appearance on the singles chart.  The reviews have been glowing.

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Now this is a busy week.  So bear with me, I’ll be skipping quickly over some of these…

1.  Calvin Harris & Sam Smith – “Promises”

Four weeks, though the margins still aren’t huge – it leads by the equivalent of 6,500 sales, and it’s the sales that tip it over the edge, since it’s only at number 3 on the streaming chart.  A fourth week makes it Sam Smith’s longest running number one, beating last year’s “Too Good at Goodbyes”.  The rest of the top 10 is largely static, with a touch of place-swapping.

10.  Lil Peep & XXXTentacion – “Falling Down”

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It’s one of those weeks when we thank heavens for the albums chart, because there’s really nothing going on with the singles…

1.  Calvin Harris & Sam Smith – “Promises”

That’s three weeks, clinging on by a very narrow margin (the equivalent of 6,000 sales over Benny Blanco at number 2).  Sam Smith managed three weeks with “Too Good at Goodbyes” last year, so if he can manage another week, he’ll set a personal record.

33.  Jason Derulo & David Guetta featuring Nicki Minaj & Willy William – “Goodbye”

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It’s “not his best work” week on the singles chart.

1.  Calvin Harris & Sam Smith – “Promises”

Two weeks.  Unusually, it’s there on sales; Benny Blanco is the streaming number one.  Weirdly, “Promises” is also number 11 on the utterly-irrelevant physical sales chart, which is almost totally detached from the world of modern pop music.  Have a look if you don’t believe me.

3.  Kanye West & Lil Pump – “I Love It”

Clocking in at just over two minutes, this is the track that Kanye West debuted at this week’s inaugural PornHub awards, of which he was the “creative director”.  The song itself could be politely described as slight.  The video at least goes out of its way to undercut the misogynistic aspects by presenting Kanye and Lil Pump as naughty schoolboys tailing along after Adele Givens.  I wonder whether this did unusually well on video streams, because god knows it’s not much to listen to.

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