No, not the eccentric Joe Casey miniseries – the unwanted second October WWE pay-per-view.  Mercifully, the next show is Survivor Series in late November.  That’s supposed to be the main show of the fourth quarter, and the Rock’s supposedly going to be wrestling this year.  So chances are it’s going get some proper attention from the writers.  Vengeance, by contrast, is very much the next level down.

The company has had three weeks to build to this show, and the general consensus is that those three weeks of television have been pretty abject.  In one of their occasional forays into outright soap opera, Raw is being built around a storyline where John Laurinitis (a long-serving backstage guy who’s inexplicably been shoved in front of the camera despite his acting being at decidedly sub-amdram levels) is trying to undermine Triple H’s authority so that he can usurp power.  This is fine in theory, but dreadful in reality.  Not only have they been rushing through the story, but the plot demands that everyone – including the lower card babyfaces –  turns on Triple H due to the supposed chaos into which the show has descended.  Of course, the WWE operates at a baseline level of ridiculousness so high that it would take a lot to make that story work, and they haven’t even come close.

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Does the WWE really need another pay-per-view, just two weeks after the last one?  No!  Of course it doesn’t!  And the fact that only five matches have been announced for this show tends to suggest that it’s about as much of an afterthought to them as it is to us.

If they’ve got any sense, “Hell in a Cell” is a show that will be dropped from the 2012 calendar.  Quite aside from the fact that they need to cut back on pointless D-list PPVs, this one is a hangover from a couple of years ago when the company got the idea that it would be a really good idea if every show had a theme.  So, casting around through the company’s arsenal of established gimmick matches, they came up with a show headlined by “Hell in a Cell” matches.

The problem with this is twofold.

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(Lest I risk driving it off the front page: it’s a podcast weekend.  The show is just two posts down!)

But now: WWE’s Night of Champions, a one-match show if ever I saw one.  Ironically, that one match also happens to be the one that doesn’t fit the show’s gimmick, which is supposed to be that every title is on the line.  This isn’t the draw that the company seems to think it is.  The two versions of the world title – which should really be consolidated into one, especially given the continuing erosion of the brand split – are defended on every show anyway, so all they’re really promising is defences of minor championships like the Intercontinental Title, which not many people care about.

At the top of the card, however, the curious CM Punk storyline rambles onwards…

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(If you’re here for this weekend’s podcast thread, it’s two posts down.)

And now: notionally, the second-biggest pay-per-view of the WWE year.  Personally, I’ve always thought the Royal Rumble was bigger, but Summerslam has been around longer, so there it is.

I’m rather pushed for time this weekend, so it’s fortunate that the WWE have chosen to help me out by not announcing very many matches.  At time of writing, only four have been officially promoted on TV; a fifth was belatedly added on the web site, though at least it continues from a TV storyline.  And so far, that’s it.  In fairness, that’s partly because some planned undercard matches have been derailed by injuries, but it’s still a card that lacks depth.

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In theory, “Money in the Bank” is one of the WWE’s B-shows – which is to say, it’s not the Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, Summerslam or Survivor Series, and therefore it’s automatically second-tier.  But it’s a more interesting show than most, for several reasons.

First (and least important), it’s the show before “Summerslam”, and so it ought to set up major storylines to be resolved at that show.  For that reason alone, it shouldn’t be a throwaway.

Second, the Money in the Bank Ladder Match has been well protected as a gimmick since it debuted in 2005.  The idea is that a bunch of wrestlers compete in a ladder match with the winner being the first one to retrieve a briefcase suspended above the ring.  Inside that briefcase (supposedly) is a contract entitling them to a shot at their show’s version of the world title, whenever they want it.  The “whenever” bit has been taken literally, meaning that if the winner is prepared to ambush the champion, they’re pretty much guaranteed to get the title.  With the exception of Rob Van Dam in 2006, everyone has been prepared to screw the champion in this way – making it an excellent gimmick for rising heels, or wrestlers who are about to turn heel.

Thirdly, this year’s show has the benefit of a particularly strong storyline on Raw, which has got an awful lot of attention from the core fans.  Whether its appeal translates to a broader audience remains to be seen; but people are talking about it.

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In June 2010, the WWE’s pay-per-view show was Fatal Four-Way.  That show was part of the WWE’s short-lived obsession with giving every pay-per-view its own gimmick.  The theory was that filling a card with four-way matches would in some way be of interest to somebody.  It wasn’t, really.

Fortunately, the company seems to have figured out that not everything needs to be a gimmick show.  So this year the June show has been retitled Capitol Punishment, for no particular reason other than that it’s coming from Washington.  This is a low priority show.  July gets Money in the Bank, which is used to mark out future headliners; August is Summerslam, traditionally treated as a major part of the calendar.  Capitol Punishment… is filling a slot in the diary.  In a couple of matches, the WWE is taking the opportunity to experiment with new pairings – but basically, nobody’s really pretending that this is anything other than a show for the hardcore.

It may also be one for the purists.  Unusually, there are no gimmick matches on this show at all.  Not even a tag match.  It’s seven regular singles matches, and I can’t remember the last time that happened.

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Time once again for a low-priority WWE pay-per-view.  Shoved awkwardly into the schedule just three weeks after the last show, lacking any particular history, and without even a dodgy gimmick to unify the show, “Over The Limit” is indeed Something That Will Be Broadcast Tonight.

It is, fortunately, on Sky Sports rather than on PPV in the UK.  So at least somebody will be watching!

It’s a show of two halves.  The main events are all rematches, two of them from feuds that ran their course a couple of months ago.  The undercard does have some new matches – but that’s not to say they’re necessarily going to be any good.

Chances are there will also be some sort of tribute package to the late Randy Savage, even though he’s been on the outs with the WWE for years.  Before anyone asks: frankly, he’s before my time.

1.  WWE Title, I Quit match: John Cena (c) v The Miz. What, again? This is the third straight show to be headlined on the Raw side with some sort of Cena/Miz match, and since the first one had the Rock involved, there’s been a degree of diminishing returns ever since.

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Since I was out of the country for Wrestlemania, it’s been a couple of months since I’ve written one of these PPV previews.  And we return with a show that is not exactly a classic.

“Extreme Rules” is a lame duck show for several reasons.  First, it’s the show that has to follow Wrestlemania.  It’s the time of year when the company goes into a rebuilding phase, having completed its major storylines and not given much thought to the new ones.  Often that results in a show full of desultory rematches to tie up loose ends.

Second, this is the show that started life as “ECW One Night Stand”, and then went on to become a themed show full of (supposedly) ultra-violent gimmick matches.  But the WWE has moved away from that sort of thing in recent years, partly in order to keep their TV PG-rated (which goes down well with the sponsors and toy license holders), and partly because the long-term injury rate to wrestlers just wasn’t worth it.  So “Extreme Rules” has drifted some way from its roots; it’s still a show full of gimmick matches, but not necessarily ones that are particularly out of the ordinary.

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The WWE’s final pay-per-view before Wrestlemania used to be something of an awkward schedule filler, but in the last few years it’s been somewhat strengthened.  Having two versions of the world title helps here, even if it’s counterproductive more generally.  The Royal Rumble show in January determines one of the challengers for Wrestlemania; that leaves the February show with the job of deciding on the other challenger.  Throw in the two obligatory title defences, and when this show ends, the company should have identified both champions and both challengers for the biggest show of the year.

The problem this year is that the viable candidates are few in number, so unless they throw in a major curveball, it’s really quite easy to predict who wins.  Fortunately for me, this show is not a PPV in the UK, so I don’t have to worry too much about that.  (Incidentally, I’m going to be out of the country for Wrestlemania itself, so you won’t be getting a preview for that.)

The Elimination Chamber is a glorified cage match.  Six participants.  Two men start, and every five minutes, another wrestler enters (or, more accurately, is released from their pod inside the cage so that they can join the match).  Elimination occurs by pinfall or submission.  Last guy left is the winner.

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Yes, after the usual Christmas break in the PPV calendar, the wrestling posts are back.  The majority of you may move on with your lives now.

Still here?  Okay, then.  Tonight’s show is the 2011 Royal Rumble, traditionally the second-biggest event in the WWE’s pay-per-view schedule.  For those of you who don’t follow wrestling (and yet are still inexplicably reading this), a brief recap.  The biggest show of the year is Wrestlemania, which is on April 3.  The Royal Rumble in January is headlined by a battle royal, and the winner goes on to challenge for the title at Wrestlemania.  Now, battle royals tend to be rather dull events because if you’ve got thirty guys in the ring at once, they can’t really do much of anything.  The great idea of the Royal Rumble is that the wrestlers draw numbers and enter in sequence every two minutes or so (and boy, there’s a lot of latitude in that “or so” – there’s a good reason why they don’t leave the clock on screen throughout).  This is, of course, a ridiculous way to choose a top contender for the biggest show of the year because, if it were real, the element of random luck would be enormous.  But it makes for a much better match, because the number of wrestlers in the ring can be kept under control, and because the regular entrances give the match structure and the fans plenty of opportunities to wonder who’s coming next.

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