For the second week running, this was supposed to be a nice clear run at the top for the new single from a major pop group.  And once again, it hasn’t quite happened.

1.  fun featuring Janelle Monae – “We Are Young”

This has been out for weeks, originally entering at 7 and moving 3-3-3-5-2-1 to get to the top.  It’s an unexpected result because it was 10,000 copies behind in the midweeks, but boy bands do have a tendency to flare out after their initial sales surge.

Fun probably won’t have a second week at the top – they’re already down to 3 on iTunes – but a single week is still fine as the climax of seven weeks’ climbing.  The question is now is whether they go down as one-hit wonders – though the follow-up single “Some Nights” has already charted in a couple of territories, so their chances are reasonable.

Notable climbers this week: “Remedy” by Professor Green from 27 to 18, “Princess of China” by Coldplay & Rihanna from 30 to 20, and “Bangarang” by Skrillex from 32 to 24.

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Since it’s a quiet week for new comics, let’s talk about Eurovision!

I’m going to assume that even the Americans among you have a vague understanding of what the Eurovision Song Contest is, since I’ve written about it before.  In short: “Eurovision” is the European Broadcasting Union, which is an organisation of European (or close enough) broadcasters.  Among their many and eccentric activities is the annual Eurovision Song Contest, notionally an international songwriting contest, but actually conceived mainly as an excuse to show off the cutting edge technical possibilities of 1956.  Each country puts in a song, each country votes, winner gets to host the show next year.

The Eurovision Song Contest has a proud tradition of being almost totally detached from anything that might be described as actual popular music anywhere in Europe, though every so often (as with this year’s winner) something comes along to challenge that.  Sometimes even the oddities are genuinely entertaining in their own right.  And sometimes entire countries either phone it in or transparently take the piss.  The result is a truly unique spectacle – songs you’d never hear anywhere else, often for very good reason, locked in flamboyantly bizarre battle.

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(NB: See the housekeeping announcement a post down, if you’re looking for this week’s podcast.)

This is the busiest chart in quite some while, though it’s also a week of relatively low sales and some underwhelming debuts.  Still, nine new entries, and a couple of substantial climbers.  There’s no move at number 1, but by a very slender margin; Rita Ora held on by less than a thousand sales.

1.  Rita Ora feat Tinie Tempah – “R.I.P.”

Doesn’t look like it’s going to manage a third week, and I wrote plenty about it last week, so let’s move on.  The highest climber is “Express Yourself” by Labrinth, jumping from 34 to 17; Emeli Sande’s “My Kind Of Love” predictably vaults 27 to 19; and the Fun single “We Are Young” has rebounded to number 2 after being covered on The Voice.  It might yet make number 1 – it’s at 2 in the midweeks, but that’s behind the Wanted, and boy band sales tend to be heavily front loaded because the fans all buy the record as soon as it comes out.

On with the new entries…

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Just a single week at number one for “Young” by Tulisa, though it’s still selling in pretty respectable quantities.  It’s replaced by a record which, judging from the midweeks, might be around for a while.

If you haven’t heard this before, pop quiz: who do you think it was originally written for?

1.  Rita Ora featuring Tinie Tempah – “R.I.P.”

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We’ve missed a few weeks, but worry not – they all featured Carly Rae Jepsen still at number one, giving her a four week reign.  As it happens, this week sees a change at the top anyway.  Bring on the generic dance-pop!

1.  Tulisa – “Young”.

This is the solo debut for Tulisa Contostavlos of N-Dubz, who have had ten hits in their own right since 2007, and also guested on Tinchy Stryder’s number 1 hit “Number 1” back in 2009.  In fact, the producer of this record is one of the quieter members of N-Dubz, so it’s not all that solo – though the shift to dance music does mark a change from the rap/pop crossover stuff that N-Dubz used to do.  Still, it’s arguably more N-Dubz Without The Bloke In The Hat.  Which most of us, I think, would applaud as a wise move.

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It’s the busiest week for new entries in ages – 7 new entries, plus three surprise re-entries from the back catalogue.  One of them very surprising indeed, in fact.  But sitting serenely above them all…

1.  Carly Rae Jepsen – “Call Me Maybe”

Second week at number one, and for the second straight week she outsells the number two single 2:1. It’s almost certainly going to hang on for a third. It’s a huge hit.

2.  Justin Bieber – “Boyfriend”

No video for this yet, but it’s a fairly blatant example of Bieber trying to grow with his audience and turn into Justin Timberlake.  Can you take seriously the idea of a sultry Justin Bieber?  No, me neither.

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It’s another exceptionally quiet week, with a bare handful of new releases, and some older records making a resurgence further down the chart.  Mercifully, Chris Brown’s sales flare out after a single week, and he drops to number five.  He is replaced by a much better pop single.

1.  Carly Rae Jepsen – “Call Me Maybe”

No less than two “tribute” cover versions of this song were floating around outside the top 40 last week, which should have been a tip-off that it was going to sell rather well. It takes thirty seconds or so to get going, but then it launches into the chorus and pretty much stays there for the rest of the track.  Well, okay, there’s a second verse.  But it’s not very long.  It’s a very good pop single, and it looks like it’s got a decent shot of staying on top for a second week.

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I never did get around to doing last week’s chart.  So I’ll catch up now.  We’ll run through this week’s new entries, and the tracks from last week that are still around.  Last week’s number 1 was a one-week-wonder new entry, which we’ll come to in a bit.  But first…

1.  Chris Brown, “Turn Up The Music”

Oh, Britain.  Oh, really.

Chris Brown has been around since 2006, but this is his first UK number one.  His previous best was debut single “Run It!” back in 2006.  His success in the UK is decidedly patchy – his last single, “She Ain’t You”, failed to make the top 50 last year.  But this is the start of the campaign for his new album, so inevitably it’s doing better.

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Goodness, we really are behind here, aren’t we?

So – let’s cover last week’s chart, and then we’ll do two weeks of comics tomorrow.  Then all will be right with the world.

1.  Gotye ft Kimbra – “Somebody That I Used To Know”

Yes, it’s still there.  That’s a total of five weeks, but with several major releases this week, it seems pretty much certain that this will be the end of the line – the midweeks have a trio of new entries shouldering it down to 4.  Five weeks is a very good run, mind you.

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I know, I know.  I’m running very late.

Last week’s delayed podcast will be up tomorrow (with the rest of this week’s reviews most likely following early in the week), but in the meantime…

1.  Gotye ft Kimbra – “Somebody That I Used To Know”

That’s four weeks total at number one, and the midweeks show him staying for a fifth.  Gotye is now closing on the six week combined run of Rihanna’s “We Found Love” last October/November.

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