…because they got knocked out in the heats.  From Slovenia, here’s Ansambel Zinel & Kalamari with “Narodnozabavni Rock.”  It’s got something for everyone.

From Lithuania, InCulto’s “Eastern European Funk”.  (Seriously, how did this not qualify?)

From Estonia, the intriguingly New Romantic influenced “Siren” by Malcolm Lincoln. (They’re apparently named after a wrong answer given on the local version of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” to the question “Which of these people was an American President?”) This is genuinely, real-world good.

And at the other end of the spectrum, from the “What were they thinking?” file, here’s the Netherlands, with “Ik Be Verliefd (Sha-La-Lie)” by Sieneke – a true throwback to Eurovision stereotype.

It’s election night, the night when people all across Britain stay up to two or three in the morning before it finally dawns on them that they won’t know for sure till next morning.  And so!  Let’s devote our time to something else instead.

Our new number 1 is the latest in the series of grime acts making a shameless bid for mainstream stardom.

This is “Good Times” by Roll Deep. (Non-embeddable YouTube version here.)

Roll Deep have been around for years, in various permutations.  They’re more of a collective than a band as such, but former members include Dizzee Rascal and Tinchy Stryder, both of whom made the crossover to the mainstream a while ago.  Of the current line-up, the best known is Wiley, who’s had several hits of his own dating back to 2004, the biggest being “Wearing My Rolex” (number 2 in 2008).

Roll Deep themselves have generally kept a slightly lower profile.  Their back catalogue ranges from minimalist grime includes credible but accessible hip-hop like “When I’m ‘Ere.”

For the most part, however, they’ve stayed under the chart radar.  The exception was in 2005, when “Avenue” made number 11 and “Shake A Leg” got to 24.  By 2005 standards, both singles were something of a bid for mainstream acceptance, with radio friendly samples and a bit of novelty value.  But they haven’t been seen in the charts since (despite releasing two albums since then).

“Good Times” obviously marks something of a departure for the group, since it’s a shameless bid for daytime radio.  I suspect there’s a degree of purist-baiting going on here.  Note how the opening seconds are terrifyingly reminiscent of “Heaven” by DJ Sammy.  Raise an eyebrow at a background vocal hook that’s suspiciously similar to “Come on Barbie, let’s go party.”  Ponder at the low-budget wedding reception look of the video.  And wonder at a vision of late-night hedonism that includes popping out for some “late night shopping on a Thursday.”

But it’s a good pop song, it really is.  It sounds nothing like Roll Deep – when I first heard it I actually double-checked that I’d downloaded the right track from Spotify – but it’s a good pop song.  It could be at the top for a while.

The other big surprise on this week’s chart is the appearance at number 29 of “She’s Always a Woman” by Billy Joel, a track from his 1977 album “The Stranger”.  In 1986 it was released as a double A-side single with “Just The Way You Are”, peaking at number 53.  But this is its first chart appearance.  Why?  Because a cover version is being used in this advert for the John Lewis department store, who would like you to know that your custom is welcome quite literally from cradle to grave.

The version in the advert is actually by Fyfe Dangerfield, the lead singer of the Guillemots.  But his version wasn’t available for most of the week, and so people have been downloading the original.  The Dangerfield version has been rush-released and will almost certainly chart in the top 20 on Sunday.

Also entering the chart this week:

• “Like a Prayer” by the Glee Cast, new at 16.  Their tenth chart hit, and the third version of the song to chart.  (Yes, you’d all forgotten about the Mad’house version that reached number 3 in 2002, hadn’t you?)
• “I am Not a Robot” by Marina and the Diamonds, new at number 26.  Her second hit, and a very odd choice of single.  Bit of a laboured metaphor, I think.
• “Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum, new at number 28.  A rare example of a country act charting, possibly because it’s a rare example of a country act being promoted in this country at all.  Their UK debut hit.
• “Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart” by Alicia Keys, new at number 31.  Her fourteenth hit, and I kind of like those 80s synths.
• “All Night Long” by Alexandra Burke, new at 34.  It’s her next single, but the version being promoted on radio and TV is a remix that only came out this week, so there’ll be a big jump next week.  And no, it’s not a cover of the Lionel Richie song.
• “Hey, Soul Sister” by Train, new at 36.  Their second top 40 hit, finally following up “Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me)”, which reached number 10 in 2001.
• “Ridin’ Solo” by Jason DeRulo, new at 38, and following up his number one “In My Head”
• “For Your Entertainment” by Adam Lambert, new at 39.  The problem here is that this is the sort of single you release when you’re playing off an existing public image… and nobody in Britian really knows who he is.

Scouting for Girls lasted two weeks at the top, and looked to have a good chance of hanging on for a third.  But as it turns out, they couldn’t quite keep up the sales for the whole week, in the face of a challenger that was gaining momentum.  On the plus side, the new number one has been climbing over a few weeks, which is the sort of thing I like to see in the chart.  It entered at number 13 three weeks ago, and had climbed up to number 2 last week.

On the down side… (more…)

Every so often, the charts throw up a number 1 single that genuinely surprises me, because I simply didn’t think the band had that much support.  Or because I’d forgotten they existed.  This is such a week, for both reasons.

“Telephone” managed two weeks at the top for Lady Gaga, although it has to be said that there wasn’t exactly much competition from new releases – the turnover of new hits has declined to a level rarely seen outside the Christmas break.  But this week it’s shouldered aside by a two-way race for the Easter number one.  (Actually, it’s sort of a three-way race… but I’ll come back to that.)

And the winners are… Scouting for Girls, with “This Ain’t a Love Song”. (more…)

Of late, the charts seem to have slipped back into their old habit of having records enter high on release, and drop from there.    The last three number ones all entered at the top – though admittedly, one of them was a charity single, which is a special case.  Thankfully, this week we’re back to a record that has seemingly taken forever to climb the chart.

“Telephone” by Lady Gaga featuring Beyonce is one of the bonus tracks from the “Fame Monster” special edition of Lady Gaga’s debut album.  It first charted as an album track download back in December 2009, when it got to number 30.  It’s been hovering around the top 75 almost uninterrupted since then.  A slow-build towards promoting it as a proper single led to it re-entering the top 40 several weeks ago, and make a painfully slow 39-39-34-37-31-12-1 climb to the top.  (more…)

Well, I told you that Jason Derulo wouldn’t be number one for long.  Having sneaked a week at the top during a scheduling lull, he drops to number three this week.  And so, it’s back to business as usual, with yet another grime act making the leap from an underground following to the singles chart.

(more…)

Almost a week late, I know.  So I’d really better cover this one today, because it won’t be number one in 24 hours time…

When last we spoke, the number one record was the charity single “Everybody Hurts”, credited to Helping Haiti.  Despite a stellar start, its sales tailed off quickly.  That was enough to give it two weeks at the top – it did start very well – but this week it plummets to number 9.  That’s a much bigger drop than normal, and suggests that the single is going to flare out very quickly.

As for its American counterpart, “We Are The World” – well, that was released in the UK, but it didn’t get a huge amount of publicity, and it crashed out at number 50.  So the British have less appetite for Haiti charity records than some people had predicted.  In fairness, that’s partly because the singles emerged weeks into the fundraising effort, and there were plenty of ways to donate without buying mediocre cover versions.

Anyhow, this all leaves the way clear for… (more…)

Cometh the disaster, cometh the charity single.  The Haiti earthquake has prompted plenty of fundraising efforts, and the British record industry’s contribution is this cover version of “Everybody Hurts”, credited to Helping Haiti.  The official video isn’t on their YouTube channel, but here’s an officially sanctioned set of still photos.

(more…)

Iyaz managed two weeks at the top with “Replay”, but gets knocked off the top a little earlier than planned.  As I’ve mentioned before, record companies still like to promote records for ages before officially releasing them, even though promoting an unavailable product which has already been released in other countries is a huge incentive to piracy.  The new number one was supposed to come out in February, but when knock-off clone versions started selling on iTunes, they rush-released it.  Turns out they didn’t need the weeks of hype anyway, as the track goes straight to number one on its first week of release (though by a relatively slim margin).  And the track in question is…

(more…)

With the Christmas period over and X Factor out of the way at last, the charts finally return to business as usual, with 2010’s first wave of new releases.  Apparently it was a fairly close-run thing this week, with new entries at numbers 1 and 2 running neck and neck over the week.  But the first new number one of 2010 is “Replay” by Iyaz.

(more…)