Just as I predicted last week, the JLS single “The Club Is Alive” flared out embarrassingly quickly.  After entering at number 1 on 11 July, it crashed to number 7 the following week. To be fair, the midweek charts show it hanging on in the bottom end of the top 10, so it’s not going to plummet straight out of the charts.  Even so, it’s an anomaly in the current charts – not many number one singles still get there solely on the strength of hardcore fans who bought the record in the first few days.  Despite the turnover of number 1 singles, which has been fairly high this year, most of them stick around for a reasonable time.

As it happens, it’s a fairly quiet period for new releases.  That means the collapse in JLS’s sales has benefitted a single which has been on the chart for 7 weeks.

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(Aside: I normally try to avoid posting these things on the same day as a podcast, but the record won’t be number one this time tomorrow, so I’d better get it out of the way.  Look one post below for this week’s show.)

So, Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” lasted a fortnight at the top.  It was replaced last Sunday by something we don’t see that often in the download era – a record that got to number one largely on the strength of fans buying it in the first few days.  The ability to download album tracks has largely blunted that sort of sales pattern, but it can still happen with the first single from a new album.

If you haven’t heard this before, prepare to ask yourself “What were they thinking?” in the first ten seconds.

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In England, they take the World Cup very seriously.  Those of you on the other side of the Atlantic may not fully grasp quite how excited they get down there.  The English operate on a strict schedule.  Whenever the World Cup or the European Championships come around (every second year, basically), they proudly declare that this will be their year, and that they will finally win a major tournament for the first time since 1966.  They get terribly wound up about it.  And then, when they invariably get knocked out in the quarter finals, they go into an enormous national sulk.

Here in Scotland, it works slightly differently.  The national team – for arcane historical reasons, the four components of the United Kingdom all enter separately – probably struggles to qualify at all, and if it does, the Scots are pretty much delighted to win a match.  I’m not kidding – just look at the official team song from 1998, Del Amitri’s “Don’t Come Home Too Soon”, a wistful ode to the distant dream of getting past the group stages.

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When the Official Charts Company started publishing the midweek charts, some people understandably wondered whether it might actually do more harm than good, by making it too easy to guess what would be number one on Sunday.  Fortunately, the British record buyers have turned out to be a little more erratic than that.

For example, last week, the midweeks had “Nothin’ On You” by B.o.B. returning to number 1; “Dirtee Disco” by Dizzee Rascal dropping to 2; and “Ridin’ Solo” by Jason Derulo climbing to 3.  But they’ve all been overtake by the record that placed at number 4 on the midweeks – “Gettin’ Over You” by David Guetta.

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It’s been a while since I’ve written one of these.  Partly that’s because the Roll Deep single managed three weeks at number one.  Partly it’s because I’ve been busy.  And partly it’s because the last couple of number one singles weren’t especially interesting. But never mind, some of the other new entries have more going for them.

We’ll kick off with the number 1 single of 23 May, which is…

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Having been exposed to some of the records that got knocked out in the semis, readers outside Europe might be vaguely interested to see what actually did well.

It certainly wasn’t the UK’s entry, “That Sounds Good To Me” by Josh Dubovie, which came last.  And bear in mind that the UK (like France, Germany and Spain) gets an automatic bye to the final because it puts up so much money towards the show’s production costs.  Belarus were only eight points ahead of us.  But if they’d come last, at least they would have had the consolation of knowing that they made it past the semis.  The UK entry almost certainly wouldn’t have.

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…because they got knocked out in the heats.  From Slovenia, here’s Ansambel Zinel & Kalamari with “Narodnozabavni Rock.”  It’s got something for everyone.

From Lithuania, InCulto’s “Eastern European Funk”.  (Seriously, how did this not qualify?)

From Estonia, the intriguingly New Romantic influenced “Siren” by Malcolm Lincoln. (They’re apparently named after a wrong answer given on the local version of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” to the question “Which of these people was an American President?”) This is genuinely, real-world good.

And at the other end of the spectrum, from the “What were they thinking?” file, here’s the Netherlands, with “Ik Be Verliefd (Sha-La-Lie)” by Sieneke – a true throwback to Eurovision stereotype.

It’s election night, the night when people all across Britain stay up to two or three in the morning before it finally dawns on them that they won’t know for sure till next morning.  And so!  Let’s devote our time to something else instead.

Our new number 1 is the latest in the series of grime acts making a shameless bid for mainstream stardom.

This is “Good Times” by Roll Deep. (Non-embeddable YouTube version here.)

Roll Deep have been around for years, in various permutations.  They’re more of a collective than a band as such, but former members include Dizzee Rascal and Tinchy Stryder, both of whom made the crossover to the mainstream a while ago.  Of the current line-up, the best known is Wiley, who’s had several hits of his own dating back to 2004, the biggest being “Wearing My Rolex” (number 2 in 2008).

Roll Deep themselves have generally kept a slightly lower profile.  Their back catalogue ranges from minimalist grime includes credible but accessible hip-hop like “When I’m ‘Ere.”

For the most part, however, they’ve stayed under the chart radar.  The exception was in 2005, when “Avenue” made number 11 and “Shake A Leg” got to 24.  By 2005 standards, both singles were something of a bid for mainstream acceptance, with radio friendly samples and a bit of novelty value.  But they haven’t been seen in the charts since (despite releasing two albums since then).

“Good Times” obviously marks something of a departure for the group, since it’s a shameless bid for daytime radio.  I suspect there’s a degree of purist-baiting going on here.  Note how the opening seconds are terrifyingly reminiscent of “Heaven” by DJ Sammy.  Raise an eyebrow at a background vocal hook that’s suspiciously similar to “Come on Barbie, let’s go party.”  Ponder at the low-budget wedding reception look of the video.  And wonder at a vision of late-night hedonism that includes popping out for some “late night shopping on a Thursday.”

But it’s a good pop song, it really is.  It sounds nothing like Roll Deep – when I first heard it I actually double-checked that I’d downloaded the right track from Spotify – but it’s a good pop song.  It could be at the top for a while.

The other big surprise on this week’s chart is the appearance at number 29 of “She’s Always a Woman” by Billy Joel, a track from his 1977 album “The Stranger”.  In 1986 it was released as a double A-side single with “Just The Way You Are”, peaking at number 53.  But this is its first chart appearance.  Why?  Because a cover version is being used in this advert for the John Lewis department store, who would like you to know that your custom is welcome quite literally from cradle to grave.

The version in the advert is actually by Fyfe Dangerfield, the lead singer of the Guillemots.  But his version wasn’t available for most of the week, and so people have been downloading the original.  The Dangerfield version has been rush-released and will almost certainly chart in the top 20 on Sunday.

Also entering the chart this week:

• “Like a Prayer” by the Glee Cast, new at 16.  Their tenth chart hit, and the third version of the song to chart.  (Yes, you’d all forgotten about the Mad’house version that reached number 3 in 2002, hadn’t you?)
• “I am Not a Robot” by Marina and the Diamonds, new at number 26.  Her second hit, and a very odd choice of single.  Bit of a laboured metaphor, I think.
• “Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum, new at number 28.  A rare example of a country act charting, possibly because it’s a rare example of a country act being promoted in this country at all.  Their UK debut hit.
• “Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart” by Alicia Keys, new at number 31.  Her fourteenth hit, and I kind of like those 80s synths.
• “All Night Long” by Alexandra Burke, new at 34.  It’s her next single, but the version being promoted on radio and TV is a remix that only came out this week, so there’ll be a big jump next week.  And no, it’s not a cover of the Lionel Richie song.
• “Hey, Soul Sister” by Train, new at 36.  Their second top 40 hit, finally following up “Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me)”, which reached number 10 in 2001.
• “Ridin’ Solo” by Jason DeRulo, new at 38, and following up his number one “In My Head”
• “For Your Entertainment” by Adam Lambert, new at 39.  The problem here is that this is the sort of single you release when you’re playing off an existing public image… and nobody in Britian really knows who he is.

Scouting for Girls lasted two weeks at the top, and looked to have a good chance of hanging on for a third.  But as it turns out, they couldn’t quite keep up the sales for the whole week, in the face of a challenger that was gaining momentum.  On the plus side, the new number one has been climbing over a few weeks, which is the sort of thing I like to see in the chart.  It entered at number 13 three weeks ago, and had climbed up to number 2 last week.

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Every so often, the charts throw up a number 1 single that genuinely surprises me, because I simply didn’t think the band had that much support.  Or because I’d forgotten they existed.  This is such a week, for both reasons.

“Telephone” managed two weeks at the top for Lady Gaga, although it has to be said that there wasn’t exactly much competition from new releases – the turnover of new hits has declined to a level rarely seen outside the Christmas break.  But this week it’s shouldered aside by a two-way race for the Easter number one.  (Actually, it’s sort of a three-way race… but I’ll come back to that.)

And the winners are… Scouting for Girls, with “This Ain’t a Love Song”. (more…)