This is what you call a laughably uneventful week.  It’s the sort of week that must leave the Official Charts Company’s social media people bashing their skulls off the desk in frustration as they desperately scour through the top 40 looking for something, anything, worth tweeting about.

There really isn’t much to work with, which is why I’m doing this post on Friday night and getting it out of the way.  (Not that there are any X-stories to review this week either.  Might do Paw Patrol.  Been watching a lot of Paw Patrol.)

1.  Major Lazer featuring Justin Bieber & MØ – “Cold Water”

You’re still reading?  Okay.  Well, this is four weeks at number one.  Long by normal standards, not so much by this year’s.  In fact, there hasn’t been a number one that lasted less than a month since February.

4.  The Chainsmokers featuring Halsey – “Closer” 

Up eight places, and overtaking the previous single “Don’t Let Me Down”, which drops to 6.  Once upon a time, “Don’t Let Me Down” would have been deleted to clear the way for the new single – it’s been on the top 40 since June – but you can’t do that any more.  Combine that with the plethora of guest appearances and the result is the current era of routine simultaneous hits.

7.  Twenty One Pilots – “Heathens”

Up another 2 places.  The Suicide Squad soundtrack singles have really taken off since the film came out.  Twenty One Pilots’ actual current single “Ride” is still languishing at 47, but hey, I’m sure they’ll take what they can get.

16.  Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa & Imagine Dragons with Logic & Ty Dolla $ign featuring X Ambassadors – “Sucker for Pain”

The other Suicide Squad single, climbing 12.

19.  Olly Murs – “You Don’t Know Love”

Mysterious.  This entered at number 23 in mid-July and promptly dropped into the thirties.  But suddenly it jumps sixteen places this week.  It’s not because of the video – that’s been out for a month.  High profile TV appearance, maybe?  I don’t follow the activities of Olly Murs closely enough to know, I’m afraid.

22.  Tieks featuring Dan Harkna – “Sunshine” 

That’s the one with the dog video.  Up eight places.

28.  Martin Garrix & Bebe Rexha – “In The Name of Love”

This week’s only new entry.  I did warn you it was uneventful.  Garrix had a number 1 hit in 2013 with “Animals” and he’s made the top ten a couple of times since then.  Like a lot of people, he’s drifted from being a dance producer to essentially a synthpop collaborator.   Bebe Rexha technically makes her top 40 debut here, although she was on David Guetta’s “Hey Mama”, which got to number 9 last October.  Apparently she got a billing on that single abroad, but the Official Charts database still credits to “David Guetta featuring Nicki Minaj and Afrojack” and has a picture of the sleeve to prove it.

And that’s it.  On the album chart:

• “Blossoms” by Blossoms is still number 1 for a second week.
• “Partynextdoor 3 – P3” by Partynextdoor enters at 11.  He’s on Drake’s label.  This is (obviously) his third album, and his first appearance in the UK charts.  Single: “Come and See Me”.
• And that’s it.