If we keep doing this then something’s going to happen eventually, right?

1. LF System – “Afraid to Feel”

That’s three weeks. The top three is static, with “As It Was” by Harry Styles – the number one before last, mind you – still hanging around at 2. Number 3 is George Ezra’s “Green Green Grass”, which is at least on the way up.

25. Steve Lacy – “Bad Habit”

This week’s highest new entry comes with one of the cheapest videos I’ve seen in quite a while, and it takes some effort these days to make a conspicuously cheap video. It’s the first UK hit for Steve Lacy, though he’s the guitarist in the Internet, who got their last album to the dizzy heights of number 39. There’s a parent solo album out this week, but it misses the top 40. Quite good, this.

29. Calvin Harris featuring Justin Timberlake, Halsey & Pharrell – “Stay With Me”

Calvin Harris’s light-funk mode hasn’t always been his most successful in terms of hits. This is the second single from upcoming album “Funk Wav Bounces vol 2”. The first was “Potion”, which peaked at number 16 and is still hanging around at number 23 after eight weeks – respectable, but hardly breaking from the pack. Number 29 is lower than “Potion” has ever been, despite the big names attached, which… hmm.

Halsey hasn’t been in the singles top 40 since she guested on a Juice WRLD single in 2020. For Justin Timberlake, you have to go back to “Say Something” from 2018. And Pharrell hasn’t had a top 40 hit since he appeared on Calvin Harris’s own “Feels”, a number 1 in 2017. He released a single of his own called “Cash In Cash Out” a month ago but it only got to number 73. This does all feel a little bit pre-pandemic.

37. ArrDee featuring Kyla – “Hello Mate”

This is his first single since his debut album – it’s pretty good if you like that sort of thing, but number 37 in a quiet market doesn’t feel like a great start. That’s not Kyla in the video. It’s her second top 40 credit, but both have come via samples from mixes of the same record – “Do You Mind”, a 2007 bassline single variously credited to her, DJ Paleface and Crazy Cousinz, which wasn’t a hit. The other track to sample it was Drake’s number 1 “One Dance”. Here’s the version that came closest to being a hit, where she actually appears in the video.

40. James Hype & Miggy Dela Rosa – “Ferrari”

Goodness, club music. James Hype’s only previous hit single was “More Than Friends”, a top 10 hit in 2017. Miggy Dela Rosa (no, not De La), is the singer, getting his first hit. That guitar lick has been sampled from P Diddy’s “I Need a Girl (Part 2)”.

This week’s climbers, then. There’s a lot of them but none of them are moving much.

• “Last Last” by Burna Boy climbs 7-4.
• “Crazy What Love Can Do” by David Guetta featuring Becky Hill & Ella Henderson climbs 8-6.
• “21 Reasons” by Nathan Dawe featuring Ella Henderson climbs to 9 after two weeks at 10.
• “I Ain’t Worried” by One Republic edges one more place to 14.
• “Stay the Night” by Sigala & Talia Mar is up 2 at 15.
• “No Excuses” by Bru-C, who still sounds like a forgotten GoBot to me, climbs 21-17.
• “Vegas” by Doja Cat climbs one place to 24.
• “Hot in it” by Tiesto & Charli XCX climbs 29-27.
• “Don’t Forget My Love” by Diplo & Miguel climbs 32-30.

So that’s four new entries, plus a re-entry for “Remember” by Becky Hill & David Guetta at number 31 (apparently on the back of a guest appearance on Love Island by Hill). The four records making way are:

• “Peru” by Fireboy DML & Ed Sheeran, which peaked at number 2. It didn’t count towards Ed Sheeran’s cap of three, because it’s a guest appearance.
• “Shivers” by Ed Sheeran finally leaves the top 40 too, after 44 weeks and a number 1 peak.
• “2Step” by Ed Sheeran had a modest 12 weeks in the top 40, peaking at 9. Ed Sheeran now has only two singles in the top 40, at 35 and 39. Could a top 40 with no Ed Sheeran be in prospect for the first time in over a year?
• “In the Stars” by Benson Boone spent a total of 10 weeks in the top 40, peaking at 21.
• “Where Are You Now” by Lost Frequencies & Calum Scott scraped a week at 40 as a re-entry last time round.

On the album chart, “Harry’s House” by Harry Styles is still number 1. It’s had a total of six weeks at number 1 and has never dropped below 2.

2. Mabel – “About Last Night”

Her second album, slightly beating 2019’s “High Expectations” (number 3). The lead single “Let Them Know” got to 19 and spent 10 weeks on the chart, though the follow-ups missed the top 40.

4. Beabadoobee – “Beatopia”

She’s still probably best known for being sampled on Powfu’s 2020 hit “Death Bed” – still her only hit single – but her previous album “Fake It Flowers” reached number 8, and this is a step up.

6. Lizzo – “Special”

Well, that’s a huge improvement on 2019’s album “Cuz I Love You”, which got to, um, 30. Of course, since then she’s had tracks from that album become virtual standards. The lead single from this album, “About Damn Time”, got to 3.

11. Working Men’s Club – “Fear Fear”

Synthpop throwbacks. Their 2020 self-titled debut got to number 26, so this is a big step up.

14. Interpol – “The Other Side of Make-Believe”

One of those bands where every new album is a surprising reminder to me that they’re still going. I’m not sure why, since they stick out an album fairly routinely every four years and they usually do okay. That said, this is the first time they’ve missed the top 10 since 2004’s “Antics”.

21. Black Midi – “Hellfire”

London alt-rock finally getting into the top 40 albums on their third attempt. Their music sounds absolutely nothing like the genre after which they’re named, which is based on MIDI files with insane numbers of notes, and sounds (and looks) like this.

23. Deaf Havana – “The Present is a Foreign Land”

Deaf Havana’s last three albums all made the top 10, so this – after a four year gap – is a serious drop-off.

38. Jeff Beck & Johnny Depp – “18”

“A dull display of colossal self-pity” – The Guardian.