Well, hello there.  I’m Paul O’Brien, the other half of House to Astonish, and it seems to us that there’s not much point in having two blogs for one podcast.  So we’re folding them in together.  Which means that basically you’ll be getting all the stuff I was doing at If Destroyed, but with a more memorable URL and a more attractive layout.  (Well, except that we won’t both have to plug the podcast, obviously.)  Oh, and I get to use WordPress instead of Blogger.  It’s got a lot more buttons, hasn’t it?

I gather the comments system here has all sorts of exciting moderation options that I could never be bothered figuring out with Haloscan.  As near as I can figure out, we’ve currently got it set up so that comments should be appearing automatically unless they get flagged as spam, but, well, who knows?  I’ll keep an eye on it.

So let’s get down to business.  Not many X-books this week, but there’s a ton of other new releases worth mentioning…

Batman & Robin #6 – I’ve seen quite a few people saying that this was the issue where Philip Tan’s limitations as an artist really leapt out at them.  True enough, getting him to follow Frank Quitely invites rather unflattering comparisons, particularly when Quitely is still doing the covers.  This issue’s villain is the Flamingo, evidently conceived as a flamboyant, Liberace-style assassin who inexplicably communicates entirely in grunts.  And yes, it works much better on Quitely’s cover than it does in the interior, because Tan doesn’t seem entirely sure how to combine those two elements, and ends up drawing a generic raving lunatic in very odd clothes.  Something’s also going on with the style, which seems less precise (or scratchy) and more soft focus than even the previous issue.  But it’s not that bad, it’s just not up there with the standards set by Quitely on the opening arc.  Admittedly, my previous experience of Tan is his hopeless 2003 run on Uncanny X-Men, so perhaps I’m just perpetually surprised that he’s improved so much over the last six years.  As for the story, well, Morrison is evidently trying to do some sort of meta-commentary about alternate models for the evolution of the Batman franchise, with Dick and Damian representing thoughtful development, and the Red Hood and Scarlet as thuggish violence; but it does feel a little as though he’s still arguing over the grim-and-gritty developments of the mid-nineties.

Cable #20 – You’ll never guess, but in this issue, Bishop tries to kill Hope, and Cable tries to protect her, and in the end Bishop doesn’t manage to kill Hope, and they escape.  Just like in every other issue.  I’ll give Duane Swierczynski credit – there’s a point near the end of this issue where I actually thought for a moment he was going to kill Bishop and the story was going to do something different for a change.  But then he didn’t, and it didn’t.  Cable has become a sorely repetitious comic, where the characters do the same thing every month while hoping for something to turn up.  As I’ve said before, the series would really benefit from giving Cable and Hope some sort of goal beyond mere survival: why not let them try and kill (or strand) Bishop, or at least give them some sort of quest to find a way back to the present day?  Without any of that, it’s just the same story in a different setting time after time.  Fortunately, it looks like we’re finally nearing the end, since Hope’s return to the present day is evidently the focus of the next major crossover.  But that seems to have been dictated more by the demands of Marvel’s publishing schedule than the needs of the story.  They could have done this more effectively in half the time.  This particular issue is a characteristically competent rendition of the usual, and while the art is a bit lacking in atmosphere, it tells the story.  It’s okay; it’s just the same thing we always get.

Dark X-Men #1 – This is a five-issue miniseries about Norman Osborn’s fake X-Men team, by Paul Cornell and Leonard Kirk.  Thanks to a year of saturation coverage, virtually every story you could possibly tell with “Dark Reign” has been done at least three times by now.  So thankfully, Dark X-Men doesn’t much bother with that stuff, and simply focusses on telling a regular story about this wonky and wholly unqualified team of lunatics trying their best to act the part of proper superheroes, by investigating weird mutant-related stuff in California.  After all, even Norman’s teams have to go out and do their official job from time to time.  With the wider storylines de-emphasised, this turns out to make a surprisingly successful team book.  The Dark X-Men aren’t an entirely unsympathetic team – only one of them is an outright bad guy, after all – and the team dynamic of Mystique trying to keep her crew of maniacs on the rails makes for good entertainment.  You might have seen in the pre-release publicity that this series also provides the return of a character who’s been out of circulation for the better part of a decade; I wasn’t really looking forward to that, but by the end of the issue, Cornell has more or less managed to sell me on it. 

There’s also a back-up strip by Duane Sweirczynski and Steve Dillon, billed as part two of “A Girl Named Hope.”  (The first part was in Psylocke #1, if you’re wondering.)  From what we’ve seen so far, presenting this as some sort of serial is a bit of an overstatement.  It’s actually a string of character vignettes, presumably intended to introduce Hope to readers who haven’t been buying Cable.  Which would be fine if it was appearing in Uncanny X-Men or Wolverine, but perhaps it’s a bit dubious when it’s used as a sales device in its own right to try and shore up Dark X-Men.  Still, the story itself isn’t bad at all – especially because it focusses on Cable and Hope’s relationship rather than getting caught up in the Bishop stuff.

PunisherMax #1 – A relaunch of the Max imprint’s version of the Punisher, this time with Jason Aaron and Steve Dillon.  And yes, they’re really calling it PunisherMax.  Perhaps the name sounds slightly less stupid to Americans (though I doubt it), but it can’t help reminding me of the trailers that used to run on the Adam & Joe podcast.  (“The Adam & Joe podcast now has a new name: PODMAX.  The name will never be written down, or spoken out loud, but every time you think of the Adam & Joe Podcast, remember: PODMAX…”) 

Anyway, Aaron is working on the basis that his Punisher is a completely separate character from the Marvel Universe version.  And he’s taking advantage of that fact, by doing a story that introduces his version of the Kingpin.  To be honest, it’s only very loosely based on the original character; he’s kept the name and appearance, but otherwise Aaron is telling a story about a henchman politicking his way to the top.  The tone of the story is weirdly inconsistent – it veers between over-the-top gross-out violence and more down-to-earth character moments.  Presumably Aaron’s going for black comedy drama, much as Garth Ennis did, but he’s in danger of lurching between the two instead of bringing them together.  Still, Steve Dillon can do both , and the story hangs together.  It’s a strong first issue, but the comedy sequences could be blended in a little better.

Strange #1 – At first glance, this is an odd time to do a Dr Strange miniseries.  The current set-up, from events in New Avengers, is that Strange’s hands have started shaking again, so he can’t do proper magic any more.  Consequently he’s been replaced as Sorcerer Supreme by Brother Voodoo, handed his cosmic carriage clock, and packed off into retirement.  But in fact, in many ways this makes Strange an easier character to write.  The problem with magic is that it’s terribly open-ended, and omnipotent heroes aren’t very interesting, because they have to face horribly contrived threats.  In this version, Strange still has tons of mystic knowledge, and some rudimentary mystic ability, but not a great deal else.  And so Mark Waid is doing stories with that.  The tone is pretty light – this issue, Strange helps to thwart a demonically-possessed baseball team – but it’s a good read, and goes to show that you can do more with the character when he can’t just hand-wave everything away.  Artist Emma Rios is working in a slightly manga-tinged version of the Marvel house style (though a Google search suggests her range actually extends way beyond that), and it’s the right approach for a slightly old-fashioned but fun story like this.

Supergod #1 – Warren Ellis’ latest Avatar miniseries sounds like it might be an exercise in controversy-baiting – and the cover, showing a Superman-style figure on a crucifix, certainly wouldn’t dissuade you from that view.  In fact, Ellis’ big idea for this series is Voltaire’s claim that if God didn’t exist, it would be necessary to invent him.  So it’s a story about various government super-soldier projects all trying to produce superhumans to… worship, basically.  Well, I call it a story.  It’s really more of a lecture, with a series of vignettes that are variations on that basic theme.  But it’s not much of a narrative – it’s a whole issue of the usual stuff about how dangerous superhumans would be in the real world, with a bit of religious fervour sprinkled over the top, and a couple of hints about plots to be developed in future issues.  Ellis is clearly very pleased with this idea, so it’s a shame he didn’t just allow it to emerge from the story instead of painstakingly explaining it for 20 pages.  In its favour, though, the book has some excellent artwork from Garry Gastonny, who has some wonderful character designs, who knows how to make his cities look different from each other, and who generally looks like he’d be right at home doing this sort of thing for a major publisher.

S.W.O.R.D. #1 – Kieron Gillen and Steven Sanders are the creative team for this ongoing series about the intergalactic Earth-protecting agency that Joss Whedon introduced in Astonishing X-Men.  Or, more accurately, it’s an ongoing series for commander Abigail Brand and some supporting characters… but S.W.O.R.D. is catchier.  And this actually has some potential as an ongoing title.  Brand is a relatively undeveloped character, and the organisation’s remit is broad enough to allow stories about virtually anything.  Plus, it has a comfortable niche in the Marvel Universe, bridging the gap between the cosmic titles and the earthbound titles.

It’s a good introductory issue.  Henry Gyrich is brought in to provide an internal sparring partner for Brand, we get a cheerfully bizarre parade of the sort of stuff S.W.O.R.D. has to deal with (alien diplomats demanding “temples of pain”), and there’s a story about Brand’s embarrassing brother showing up with a bounty-hunter in tow.  Since this book is written by somebody British, you can probably guess which bounty-hunter.  And a couple of subplots are set up for members of the supporting cast.  As Hank points out near the end, these are pleasingly traditional challenges, rather than the catastrophic upheavals that most Marvel titles seem to go for these days.  Quite right too; it’s only issue #1. 

The dialogue is great.  I’m not so wild about the art; it’s generally solid, but Sanders goes overboard with Brand charging around, and his Beast is so far off model that he appears to have turned into a donkey.  Mind you, he does a decent line in robot bounty-hunters.  There’s also a back-up strip illustrated by Gillen’s Phonogram partner Jamie McKelvie; it’s basically an extension of the Lockheed subplot from the main story, but X-Men fans may wish to note that it does finally offer an explanation of why nobody’s been able to recover Kitty Pryde yet.

Uncanny X-Men: First Class #5 – Um… well, a bunch of aliens invade Earth and the X-Men fight them.  Yeah, that’s basically it.  It’s good to see a First Class issue creating its own villains rather than relying on the parade of guest stars that seems to have become the norm in these books, and in fairness, Scott Gray and Nelson DeCastro do a fine job of building them up as a threat.  And they’re villains with great character designs, too.  But it’s still a very familiar story.  Then again, that’s fine, if you think the First Class books are there to provide a lead-in for younger readers; by that standard, if any book should be doing the X-Men in generic action stories where they fight bad guys, this is the one.

X-Babies #2 – Well, this is turning into a very strange series.  The plot is straightforward enough.  The new management at Mojoworld have replaced the X-Babies with even cutesier versions.  The brats have escaped, but now find themselves hounded by a string of impossibly saccharine and irritating characters extracted from Star Comics, Marvel’s short-lived mid-eighties imprint for younger readers.  The Star imprint is so obscure that it’s hard to imagine there’s much of a built-in audience for this.  The motive, presumably, is some sort of warped corporate synergy: there’s a Star Comics trade paperback due out at the end of the month.  This issue even includes a reprint of Planet Terry #1, encouraging readers to pick up the trade to find out what happened next.  (The answer, if you’re wondering, is that the book got cancelled at issue #12 without resolving the plot.)  But the main story seems to have no affection for the characters at all – they’re openly portrayed as hatefully twee, boringly worthy, generally loathsome relics of a justly-forgotten past.  To be fair, I wouldn’t be surprised if the final issue reveals that these are supposed to be cutesy doppelgangers of the Star characters, much like the imposter X-Babies from issue #1.  But still, if the aim of this series is to promote the Star trade paperback – and I can’t imagine what else it could be – you’d have thought they’d be trying to convince us that these were lost classics, instead of encouraging us to throw the characters down the deepest available well.

X-Force #21 – Rather confusingly billed as the second part of “Necrosha”, though it’s the third to appear.  So presumably the New Mutants and Legacy chapters don’t count.  For the most part, this is a fairly dispiriting read.  Zombie mutants are still attacking Utopia, and X-Force fight them, and… yeah, that’s basically the story.  Actually, that’s not quite fair – there’s also various people trying to wake up Elixir so that he can resolve their respective subplots.  But basically it’s an extended fight scene along much the lines you’d expect.  Artist Clayton Crain gets through most of the issue without drawing more than a handful of intelligible backgrounds, seemingly content as usual to turn down the lights and hope for the best.  Naturally, the result is that the action appears to take place in an unspecified fogbank somewhere, with the occasional girder lying around.  To be fair, there’s a couple of decent moments in here (there’s a rather nice panel of Archangel shielding the team from a fire, which makes effective use of light and shade), but a lot of it is just murky and inexpressive.  Now, having said all that, the story does start to get my attention near the end, when it finally gets to the point, and Selene attempts to resurrect the entire population of Genosha, thus restoring mutantkind… ish.  That’s got some potential, and evidently this is going to be more than just a whole storyline of “and then vengeful techno-zombies attacked.”  So if we’re getting that obligatory stuff out of the way before moving on to the more interesting bit of the story… fair enough, I guess.

X-Men Forever #11 – The last issue of Chris Claremont’s alternate-history series ended by teasing that the differences from the Marvel Universe went even further than he’d previously suggested.  But naturally, we don’t pick up on that subplot straight away.  Instead, it’s off to Russia, where Colossus has taken up a position as an official superhero of the Russian government.  From the look of it, this is going to be a device to bring Magik into the cast (the eighties ended with her turned into a child and packed off back to Siberia, so that’s where the series picks her up).  A nice straightforward globe-trotting lead story, and a bunch of cutaways advancing a score of subplots… yes, it’s eighties-style Claremont.  But that’s what he does best.  Tom Grummett is on form, too.  He does a great job with the Crimson Dynamo armour, and I like his patriotic redesign of Colossus’ costume – yes, it has vague echoes of Judge Dredd, but maybe that’s no bad thing.