Gosh, an actually busy week.

1. Sam Smith & Kim Petras – “Unholy”

Four weeks. The whole top 5 is static, so we’re waiting for something to break through as a challenger. In the meantime, Todd in the Shadows’ review of this track is worth a watch.

7. Stormzy – “Hide & Seek”

This, apparently, is the lead single from his next album. Not to be confused with “Mel Made Me Do It”, which reached number 12 just three weeks ago – but isn’t on the album. “Hide & Seek” is one of his gentler tracks, with an obvious Afrobeat influence that seems to be the trend this year; the uncredited singers include Oxlade.

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Another fairly quiet week at the top end of the chart, but it picks up when we get further down.

1. Sam Smith & Kim Petras – “Unholy”

Three weeks. It’s peaked but it doesn’t have much in the way of competition – the top three remains static for a second week. The midweeks have the whole top 4 staying static next week too. Anyway, for our first new entry, we have to go out of the top 20 and meet…

23. Mimi Webb – “Ghost of You”

This is the follow-up to “House on Fire”, which reached number 6 in the spring. I’m not wild about it; there’s something very limp about that chorus production. Mimi Webb singles tend not to be slow climbers, though her debut “Good Without” was an exception. The midweeks have it at 27.

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A busy week for new entries – so to make up for it, we have a static top 5.

1. Sam Smith & Kim Petras – “Unholy”

Which means two weeks for these guys.

6. Ed Sheeran – “Celestial”

This is, of all things, a track promoting Pokémon Scarlet & Violet, the upcoming instalment in the long-running children’s cock-fighting simulator franchise. The actual song is typical Ed Sheeran with no Pokémon content; you can see why somebody thought it was good enough to merit actually promoting it as a proper single, but you can also see why he gave it up to a side project in the first place.

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Four number 1s in as many weeks? It’s like the old days.

1. Sam Smith & Kim Petras – “Unholy”

Now this was close. They were behind in the midweeks and wound up taking it by about a 2% margin. Still, it’s another new number one, shoving David Guetta back down to number 2.

Sam Smith’s chart career started with guest vocals for the likes of Disclosure and Naughty Boy, but over time it was the ballads that tended to be the big hits. This is a big swerve back in a much more camp and theatrical direction, and it clearly works. To put that in context, it’s Sam Smith’s eighth number one hit, but the others came between 2013 and 2018. The 2020 album “Love Goes” was not especially successful by their standards, failing to get any singles into the top 10 and only going gold where its predecessor had gone double platinum. A good time for a rethink, then.

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Goodness, a one-week number one. This is uncommonly fast turnaround for 2022.

1. David Guetta featuring Bebe Rexha – “I’m Good (Blue)”

Well, that video isn’t exactly a masterpiece of conceptual inspiration, is it? Then again, I’m not sure anyone at the label particularly expected this track to be a major hit – it seems to be a track that he worked up for use in DJ sets back in 2017, and it only got a proper release when TikTok got hold of it. It’s David Guetta’s sixth number one; the others are “When Love Takes Over” (2009), “Sexy Chick” (2009), “Gettin’ Over You” (2010), Flo Rida’s “Club Can’t Handle Me” (2010), “Titanium” (2011) and “Lovers on the Sun” (2014). So that’s an eight year gap. Maybe that’s more bad luck than anything else, since he has had multiple top 5 hits in that time.

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Behold, the first new number 1 of the reign of His Majesty King Charles III.

1. Lewis Capaldi – “Forget Me”

We haven’t heard from Lewis Capaldi since before the pandemic; he had two number 1 hits and a total of five top 10 hits in 2018-19, plus an album that spent ten weeks at number 1 and 168 weeks in the top 40 (it rebounds to 9 this week). So a strong debut for his comeback single is not a surprise. The record itself is unrelentingly middling. The blandly retro arrangement does it no favours. The video is meant to be a homage to Wham!’s “Club Tropicana”, which was nearly 40 years ago, so who knows how many people get the reference today. It was number 1 by a pretty tight margin, pushed over the edge by first-week physical sales pre-ordered by the fanbase. But you never know. It could grow – his previous hits all took a while to reach their peak.

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The regular Radio 1 chart show didn’t air on Friday for the obvious reason, but the charts were published as usual.

1. Eliza Rose & Interplanetary Criminal – “B.O.T.A. (Baddest of Them All)”

Two weeks. The main challenger this week is David Guetta featuring Bebe Rexha’s “I’m Good (Blue)” at number 2, although the midweeks have a new Lewis Capaldi single entering at number one. We’ll see if that holds up – records that enter really high tend to be fanbase records, and fanbase records have front-loaded sales.

20. Tom Odell – “Another Love”

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Well, this is the busiest singles chart we’ve had in months.

1. Eliza Rose & Interplanetary Criminal – “B.O.T.A. (Baddest of Them All)”

LF System finally reach their limit after eight weeks at number 1, and drop 2. Replacing it is another debut dance hit, which means this might turn out to be two back-to-back one-hit wonders (though I expect they’ll both get off the list quickly enough). “B.O.T.A.” entered at number 10 three weeks ago and it’s spent the last two weeks at number 2, so it was obviously in line to be the next number one.

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Well, it’s another week where we’re relying on the album chart for activity. But first…

1. LF System – “Afraid to Feel”

That’s eight weeks. Still not the longest run of the year – Harry Styles’ “As It Was” stayed at number 1 for ten weeks. It’s holding off “B.O.T.A. (Baddest of Them All)” by Eliza Rose & Interplanetary Criminal, which spends a second week at number 2, and “Green Green Grass” by George Ezra, which has been hovering in the top five for ten weeks now, and gets its fourth (non-consecutive) week at number 3.

6. Aitch & Ed Sheeran – “My G”

And the prospect of a top 40 with no Ed Sheeran songs in it recedes just a little further. This is the release-week single from Aitch’s debut album “Close To Home”, which enters at number 2. That’s the sort of very technical “debut album” that follows two mixtapes that both made the top 10 in 2019 and 2020… but okay.

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After a lengthy summer logjam, we’re starting to see some turnover in the top half of the singles chart. But only starting.

1. LF System – “Afraid to Feel”

That’s seven weeks. It does have a serious challenge this time, with “B.O.T.A. (Baddest of them All)” by Eliza Rose & Interplanetary Criminal climbing from 10 to 2, so I wouldn’t be at all surprised if this turns out to be it.

15. Nicki Minaj – “Super Freaky Girl”

This is the lead single from her 15th album, and counting guest appearances, it’s her 40th top 40 hit. And yes, it’s come to this, someone else has decided that enough time has passed to get away with sampling “Super Freak” by Rick James, the track that formed the basis for “U Can’t Touch This”. It’s… Nicki Minaj doing the cartoon version of Nicki Minaj, I guess? And that’s maybe what people want from Nicki Minaj at this point in her career, since she hasn’t placed a solo single this high since “Anaconda” back in 2014.

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