Ah. Already, then?

1. Mariah Carey – “All I Want for Christmas Is You”

We’re now firmly into the Christmas deluge, and in the absence of a particularly strong incumbent number 1 – Taylor Swift’s “Anti-Hero” had already been there for six weeks – Mariah Carey makes to number 1 already. She had two weeks at number 1 over Christmas 2020 but had the decency that time round to wait for another week.

Some purists hate this sort of thing, but the reality is that this is what people are actually listening to – in fact, Carey has to overcome the permanent downweighting of back catalogue material. You could see it as a sign that nobody really cares very much about modern music but I suspect it’s at least as much a case of the long tail suddenly converging on Christmas records at this time of year.

The unfortunate record at number 2 is “Escapism” by Raye featuring 070 Shake, which you might choose to see as a record that ought to have been a number 1. But there are a couple of points there. First, it could still have its chance in the dead period after Christmas Day. And second, if all these Christmas records weren’t around, there’d be a lot more competition from regular releases instead.

13. Metro Boomin featuring The Weeknd & 21 Savage – “Creepin'”
39. Metro Boomin featuring Future & Chris Brown – “Superhero (Heroes & Villains)”

Metro Boomin is a producer, and these two tracks both come from his album “Heroes & Villains”, which enters the album chart at number 3. His previous solo album reached number 16 in 2018, and a collab with 21 Savage got to number 10 in 2020. One of the tracks from that album, “Mr Right Now”, produced his only previous hit single, reaching number 28.

“Creepin” is heavily based on “I Don’t Wanna Know” by Mario Winans, a number one in 2004. That track already incorporated the hook most familiar from the Fugees’ “Ready or Not”, which in turn is actually a sample from “Boadicea” by Enya.

As for “Superhero”, that was meant to be the lead single from the album, and as such, it’s the one that has a video. Why you’d choose it as a single over “Creepin'” is beyond me, and the chart position probably reflects that.

20. Lewis Capaldi – “Pointless”

Here’s somebody else presumably angling to soar to the top of the chart in the post-Christmas lull. It’s the second single from his upcoming album; the first got to number 1 for a week, and hung around the top 10 for nine weeks. Predictably, this doesn’t enter as strongly, because attention is elsewhere. It’s co-written by Ed Sheeran (what isn’t?). I normally think the criticism that Lewis Capaldi bellows his ballads is overblown, but… it’s kind of right with this one.

21. Chris Rea – “Driving Home for Christmas”

Right, back to the Christmas records. “Driving Home” failed to make the top 40 on its release in 1988, but it’s been a regular visitor for the last few years. Last year it reached an all time peak of number 10. That made it his joint biggest UK hit single, matching “Road to Hell”. If you leave this track aside, Chris Rea’s last top 40 hit was in 1994, when “You Can Go Your Own Way” reached number 28.

22. Andy Williams – “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”

This only became a hit single in the streaming era; it reached number 9 last year.

24. Elton John – “Step into Christmas”

“Step into Christmas” reached number 24 on release at Christmas 1973, but showed up on every Christmas compilation imaginable for year after year. It reached its all time peak of number 8 in 2019 and again in 2020.

28. Wizzard – “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday”

Originally a number 4 in Christmas 1973, this track has long since justified its opening sound effect. Its digital-era peak was number 10 in Christmas 2019, but it only managed 12 in 2020 and 15 in 2021.

30. Paul McCartney – “Wonderful Christmastime”

The most regularly played track from McCartney’s “experimenting with my new electronic toys” phase, this reached number 6 at Christmas 1979. Its digital-era peak was number 17 last year.

31. Lizzo – “Someday at Christmas”

This is an Amazon exclusive, and so it’s not available for embedding. It’s a cover version of the Stevie Wonder song from the 1966.

32. Michael Bublé – “Holly Jolly Christmas”

This charted for the first time in 2019; its all time peak was 24 two year ago.

33. Dean Martin – “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!”

The chart lists this as “Let It Snow Let It Snow Let It Snow”, which sounds like an error message. The title’s meant to have the exclamation marks, apparently, and that’s how it’s shown on the Dean Martin YouTube channel, which is apparently authorised, so let’s go with that. This is another track which charted for the first time in the digital era, reaching an all-time peak of number 27 last year. Martin had plenty of big hits back in the 50s, including a number one.

34. Leona Lewis – “One More Sleep”

Originally a number 3 hit in 2013, this made the top 10 again in 2018, but it hasn’t done so well since then; it only got to number 20 last year.

35. The Ronettes – “Sleigh Ride”

This charted for the first time in 2017, and reached an all time peak of 23 last year.

36. Slade – “Merry Xmas Everybody”

That is the officially-sanctioned video, but for understandable reasons you won’t see any TV channel going near it, when they can stick with the 70s TV performances they tend to prefer. “Merry Xmas Everybody” was the Christmas number 1 of 1973, but its digital-era peak was in 2017 when it got to number 16. Last year it only reached number 21.

38. John & Yoko and the Plastic Ono Band with the Harlem Community Choir – “Happy Xmas (War is Over)”

At some point people are going to start making more of an issue about that line about “the yellow and the red ones”, but this is the not that year. This reached number 4 on release in 1972, and its all time peak of number 2 in 1980 after Lennon’s murder. Its digital era peak is number 18 in 2018; last year it got to 22.

40. José Feliciano – “Feliz Navidad”

This made the top 40 for the first time in 2020, and it reached number 25 last year. Feliciano’s biggest UK hit was his cover of “Light My Fire”, which reached number 6 in 1968.

The top ten singles on the chart that have no Christmas element are:

1. Raye featuring 070 Shake – “Escapism” (no 2)
2. Taylor Swift – “Anti-Hero” (no 5)
3. Meghan Trainor – “Made You Look” (no 7)
4. venbee & goddard – “Messy in Heaven” (no 8)
5. Stormzy – “Firebabe” (no 9)
6. Oliver Tree & Robin Schulz – “Miss You” (no 11)
7. Metro Boomin, the Weeknd & 21 Savage – “Creepin'” (no 13)
8. Anne-Marie & Aitch – “Psycho” (no 15)
9. Lewis Capaldi – “Pointless” (no 20)
10. Stormzy – “Hide & Seek” (no 23)

This week’s climbers are naturally almost all festive.

• “Escapism” by Raye featuring 070 Shake at 2, overtaking “Bed” and “You Don’t Know Me” to become her biggest hit.
• “Last Christmas” by Wham!, climbing 9-3.
• “Merry Christmas” by Ed Sheeran & Elton John, climbing 15-4.
• “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee, climbing 18-6.
• “Firebabe” by Stormzy climbs 11-9, which is some impressive swimming against the tide.
• “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé climbs 20-10.
• “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens climbs 26-12.
• “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl climbs 30-14.
• “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande climbs 28-16.
• “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson climbs 31-17. This has never previously been higher than 15, so it has a good shot of setting a new peak this year.
• “Do They Know It’s Christmas” by Band Aid climbs 34-18.
• “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms climbs 36-19.

The sixteen (!) singles leaving the top 40 this week for being insufficiently festive are:

• “Rocket Science” by Clavish featuring D-Block Europe, which entered at 9 but only lasted two weeks.
• “Lionheart (Fearless)” by Joel Corry & Tom Grennan, which peaked at 22.
• “Life Me Up” by Rihanna, which peaked at 3 but only lasted six weeks.
• “Kiss Me” by Dermot Kennedy, which got to 15 and lasted 8 weeks.
• “Forget Me” by Lewis Capaldi, a former number 1.
• “Celestial” by Ed Sheeran, which got to 6.
• “I’m Good (Blue)” by David Guetta & Bebe Rexha, another former number 1.
• “Lavender Haze” by Taylor Swift and “Snow on the Beach” by Taylor Swift featuring Lana Del Rey which both hung around surprisingly long for album tracks, and reached numbers 3 and 4 respectively.
• “All for You” by Cian Ducrot, which peaked at 19 but lasted a remarkable 16 weeks on the top 40.
• “How Do I Say Goodbye” by Dean Lewis, which peaked at 23 and lasted 7 weeks.
• “3 Lions” by David Baddiel, Frank Skinner and the Lightning Seeds, for obvious reasons.
• “Alone” by Burna Boy, which reached number 28.
• “Ghost of You” by Mimi Webb, which reached number 23.
• “This is What I Mean” by Stormzy, which got a week at number 32.
• “Warm” by K-Trap, which reached number 17.

On the album chart…

1. Olly Murs – “Marry Me”

This is the first Olly Murs album to produce no top 40 singles at all – not even a top 100, in fact – but it still becomes his fifth number 1 album. His other two albums both reached number 2.

3. Metro Boomin – “Heroes & Villains”

We’ve covered that. And finally…

18. Leftfield – “This is What We Do”

In this week? Really? Okay. The dance veterans released two huge albums in the late 90s and put out a comeback album, “Alternative Light Source”, that reached the top 10 in 2015. This is their first album to miss the top 10, but after such a long break and 27 years after their debut, that’s not too bad.