Alright, it’s December, bring on the flood.

1. Taylor Swift – “The Fate of Ophelia” 

Seven weeks total, which means it overtakes “Anti-Hero” as her longest-running UK number one. Although “Anti-Hero” did it in six consecutive weeks, while “Fate of Ophelia” had a two week interruption by Olivia Dean. One odd thing about Taylor Swift is that despite her juggernaut status, she’s only actually had five number 1s, and none of the others stayed there for very long: “Look What You Made Me Do” had two weeks in 2017, “Is It Over Now (Taylor’s Version)” had a single week in 2023, and “Fortnight” had a single week last year.

“Fate of Ophelia” peaked a while back, and goes onto ACR downweighting next week, so barring a miracle, this will be its final week at number one. Raye’s “Where is my Husband” is number 2, so the question is whether it can sneak a week at number 1 before getting Whammed. My money’s on “no”.

18. Laufey – “Winter Wonderland”

This was a Spotify exclusive two years ago, and since it’s still less than three years old, it isn’t on permanent downweighting. In other words, it’s not competing on a level playing field with the other Christmas records, but next year it will be.

That said.. it reached number 26 on release in 2023, and number 24 last year, and each time it took some time to climb to those positions. This year it shows up right away at number 18, and it is available on other streaming platforms.

Her 2024 Christmas single “Christmas Magic” got to 13 last year, and stands as her biggest UK hit single, but there’s no sign of it this year.

20. Elton John – “Step Into Christmas”

This reached number 24 on release in 1973, but it’s been back every year since 2016. Its all time peak was number 8 in 2019 and 2020. It seemed to be tailing off in later years, but last year it got to number 10.

22. Band Aid – “Do They Know It’s Christmas”

The poster child for “nobody listens to the lyrics”, as it’s hard to imagine anything less festive than the Ethiopian famine of 1984, but here we are again. This was the Christmas number 1 for five weeks in 1984, and it’s been back every year since 2015. It reached the top 10 every year between 2017 and 2021. Like “Step into Christmas”, it seemed to tail off in the years following, but last year it got to number 8.

23. Andy Williams – “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”

You might assume this is another transplant from the American streaming playlists, but that’s not quite fair. This track dates from a 1963 Christmas album, and Andy Williams had plenty of hits in the UK in the late 50s and early 60s, including a number 1 with “Butterfly”. If “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” had been released as a single at the time, it might well have been a hit. But it wasn’t released as a single at the time, and didn’t get a single release until 2007, when it promptly reached number 21. It’s been back every year since 2016, with an all time peak of number 9 in 2021 and again in 2023. Williams died in 2012, at the age of 84.

24. Kylie Minogue – “XMAS” 

This is an Amazon Music exclusive, so there’s no video to embed. It’s… okay, I guess? Ish? Her Christmas record also has another single which does have a generally available video and is doing nothing, “Office Party”, which is a much better record (and sounds nothing like the title would suggest). Streaming exclusives have an awkward position on the chart: being limited to one service creates a ceiling, but also guarantees that the track gets force-fed to listeners on that service’s Christmas playlists.

25. Paul McCartney – “Wonderful Christmastime” 

Number 6 in 1980, back every year since 2016. It reached a streaming-era peak of number 16 last year. It’s one of the more divisive Christmas tracks, being a product of McCartney’s “messing about with these newfangled synth things” period, when he thought that “Temporary Secretary” might be a reasonable choice of single.

28. The Ronettes – “Sleigh Ride”

This charted for the first time in 2013 and reached an all-time peak of number 15 last year. The Ronettes had three other hits in 1963-64, the biggest being “Be My Baby” (number 4). The only surviving member is Nedra Talley, now aged 79.

29. Michael Bublé – “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”

Originally released in 2012, this charted for the first time in 2016 and reached an all time peak of number 6 in 2022. It only got to 14 last year. The Perry Como original got to number 40 last year, and is curently down at number 81.

31. Darlene Love – “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”

This didn’t chart in the UK until 2018, when it reached an all-time peak of 22. Last year it got to number 30.

32. Sia – “Snowman” 

First released on her 2017 Christmas album, this has been back every year since 2021 and seems to be cemented as part of the modern pantheon. It reached an all time peak of number 18 last year.

33. José Feliciano – “Feliz Navidad”

First released in 1970, this didn’t chart in the UK until 2020, but it’s been back every year since. It reached an all-time peak of 17 last year. His biggest UK hit remains his 1968 cover of “Light My Fire”, which reached number 6.

34. Djo – “End of Beginning”

Yes, it’s not all Christmas this week – we also have two tracks which are here thanks to the new episodes of Stranger Things. This reached number 4 last year for actor Joe Keery.

35. John & Yoko & The Plastic Ono Band with the Harlem Community Choir – “Happy Xmas (War is Over)”

Another annual entry. This reached number 4 on release in 1972, and an all-time peak of number 2 in 1980. It’s charted every Christmas since 2017, with its highest modern position being number 18 in 2018. Last year it reached number 24.

There are several official videos for this track; the one above is the cosy one, which seemed more appropriate for this post. Curiously, YouTube’s search engine is very keen to steer you towards the incredibly depressing one full of war footage, which you might have thought would be the less popular option.

36. Justin Bieber – “Mistletoe” 

I’m amazed that this has proved so enduring, but I suppose it does bring some variation to a Christmas playlist. It reached number 21 on release in October 2011 (yes, October) and it’s been back every year since 2018. Last year it only managed a week at number 36.

37. Kate Bush – “Running Up That Hill”

The other Stranger Things track, obviously. This reached number 3 on release in 1985, and spent three weeks at number 1 on the back of the show in 2022.

38. Michael Bublé – “Holly Jolly Christmas”

This has been here every year since 2019. Its all time peak was 21 in 2023, but it was only just short of that last year.

40. Chris Rea – “Driving Home for Christmas”

This has been here every year since 2015. Its all time peak was number 10 in 2021, but in the last couple of years it’s only got to 19.

This week’s climbers:

• “Last Christmas” by Wham! climbs 9-3.
• “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey climbs 13-4.
• “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee climbs 23-6. Its all time peak is 4.
• “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson climbs 24-9. Its all time peak is 7.
• “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande climbs 28-10. Its all time pea is 8.
• “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl climbs 33-12.
• “Jingle Bell Rock” by Bobby Helms climbs 34-14.
• “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens climbs 40-16.
• “I Run” by HAVEN. featuring Kaitlin Aragon climbs 37-21. That’s swimming against the tide and might be one to watch for the new year.

The seventeen (!) tracks leaving the top 40 are:

• “For Good” by Cynthia Erivo & Ariana Grande, after a single week at number 14. None of the three Wicked tracks from last week manages to stick around. This isn’t purely a Christmas thing, they also fall relative to the non-Christmas tracks.
• “Nobody’s Girl” by Tate McRae, after a single week at 16.
• “No Good Deed” by Cynthia Erivo, after a single week at 17.
• “Tit for Tat” by Tate McRae, after a nine-week run, peaking at 6. It probably got hit by ACR this week.
• “What it Sounds Like” by HUNTR/X, which had six official weeks on chart, peaking at 13 (and would have had more if it wasn’t for the three song rule).
• “Elizabeth Taylor” by Taylor Swift, with eight weeks and a peak of 3.
• “Anything But Love” by Tate McRae, after a single week at 25.
• “Talk of the Town” by Fred again.., Sammy Virji & Reggie, which had three weeks and peaked at 18.
• “4 Raws” by EsDeeKid, after two weeks, and peaking at 27.
• “As Long as You’re Mine” by Cynthia Erivo & Jonathan Bailey, after a single week at 29.
• “Folded” by Kehlani, which only got to 20 but hung around for 11 weeks.
• “12 to 12” by Sombr, which peaked at 7 and lasted 18 weeks.
• “Think About Us” by Sonny Fodera, DOD & Poppy Baskcomb, which got to number 30 and had three weeks in the top 40.
• “Do It” by Stray Kids after a single week at 35.
• “Dracula” by Tame Impala after a nine wek run and a peak of 21.
• “No Broke Boys” by Disco Lines & Tinashe, which peaked at number 2 and has been around since June.
• “Lush Life” by Zara Larsson, after a single week at 39.

The album chart is basically dead. “The Art of Loving” by Olivia Dean returns to number 1 for a second week – the first was back in October but it’s never dropped below 5. Of some note, EsDeeKid’s “Rebel” has been slowly scaling the chart and, in the face of the Christmas market, makes it to number 9 this week. Albums very, very rarely do this.

19. Jessie J – “Don’t Tease Me With A Good Time”

Jessie J was a big name in 2010-2014 or so, but hasn’t appeared on the singles or albums chart since; a 2018 album failed to make the top 100.