This really does seem to be unshiftable.

1. Carolina Gaitan, Mauro Castillo, Adassa, Rhenzy Feliz, Diane Guerrero & Stephanie Beatriz – “We Don’t Talk About Bruno”

Five weeks. It has peaked, but it’s still comfortably in the lead. As for the other two Encanto songs, “Surface Pressure” drops to 4, and “The Family Madrigal” rebounds 9-8 (which is still below its peak of 7).

2. Ed Sheeran – “The Joker and the Queen”

Not an obvious choice of single, this is the track from last year’s “=” album that Ed Sheeran performed at the Brit Awards, and then followed up with a new version featuring Taylor Swift. Even though that’s the version with the video, and it accounts for the vast majority of streams, for some reason the label hasn’t nominated it as the lead version – and so the song appears on the chart credited simply to Ed Sheeran as per the original album version.

It’s… alright, I guess? Pretty? The high concept of the video is that it’s a sequel to Taylor Swift’s “Everything Has Changed” (featuring Ed Sheeran), which reached number 7 in 2012; the video for that song featured child actors who were meant to resemble Swift and Sheeran, and they’ve been brought back as teenagers for this one. If you’re not enough of a fan to get that reference, it just looks kind of weird.

14. Dove Cameron – “Boyfriend”

Dove Cameron is another escapee from the Disney Channel, where she starred in Liv & Maddie. (As both of them. It was a twins show.) She’s been releasing music for several years now, with little impact, but this is the attempt to launch her as an actual singer. It’s very much in the “look, I am grown up now” mould that people tend to release when they have an ambivalent relationship to their Disney claim to fame, but it’s a decent song for all that.

22. Central Cee – “Khabib”

This is Central Cee’s fourth hit of 2022. Fifth, if you count his appearance on D-Block Europe’s “Overseas” – it debuted just before Christmas but it’s still around. Looks like he’s basically releasing the whole album. Considering that’s the sort of exercise we’re talking about, this is fine.

32. Russ Millions, Buni & YV – “Reggae & Calypso”

This is the first time we’ve seen Russ Millions on the top 40 since “Body” reached number 1 last year. He’s one of those patchy artists who sometimes makes the top 10, and sometimes just vanishes. This seems like it could be in the second category, but I quite liked it.  It’s the first hit for both of his collaborators (one of whom is his brother). Aside from featuring as a lyric, the title bears no resemblance whatsoever to the record.

This week’s climbers:

• “Down Under” by Luude featuring Colin Hay climbs 12-10.
• “The Motto” by Tiesto & Ava Max climbs 22-19
• “I Drink Wine” by Adele re-enters at 23 on the back of a Brit Awards performance; it reached number 4 as an album track first time around.
• “Anyone for You” by George Ezra climbs 30-26.
• “Where Did You Go” by Jax Jones featuring MNEK climbs 40-30.

So that’s four new entries, plus three re-entries – Adele, and a couple of tracks hovering around the number 40 mark (“Stay” and “Light Switch”). The Seven tracks leaving to make room for them:

• “Better Days” by Dermot Kennedy, which peaked at number 16 but spent a very respectable 19 weeks in the top 40.
• “Numb Little Bug” by Em Beihold, which managed a week at number 38.
• “Enemy” by Imagine Dragons, which presumably hits the downweighting rule and falls 17-51.
• “Do We Have a Problem” by Nicki Minaj & Lil Baby, which only got a week at number 31. That’s not good for the lead single for her album.
• “Cigarettes” by Juice WRLD, which got a week at 37.
• “Alone With You” by ARZ, which must have been hammered by the downweighting rule, since it falls from 30 to number 100.
• “Overpass Graffiti” by Ed Sheeran, which will have been disqualified under the three song limit thanks to the appearance of “Joker and the Queen”. It was at number 35 and falling last week so there’s a good chance it would have dropped out anyway.

On the album chart:

1. Frank Turner – “FTHC”

Frank Turner finally gets a number one with his ninth studio album. He’s been very close before, making number 2 with 2013’s “Tape Deck Heart” and 2015’s “Positive Songs for Negative People”, and number 3 with his last two albums.

3. Alt-J – “The Dream”

Their third consecutive top 10 album. They’re not exactly prolific, so those three album span a period dating back to 2014 (and their only number 1).

5. Slash featuring Myles Kennedy & The Conspirators – “4”

Slash’s fourth album with this backing band (or rather, backing band and singer – Myles Kennedy is the former front man of Alter Bridge). Three of them made the top 10.

6. James Morrison – “Greatest Hits”

What it sounds like. He’s had four previous top ten albums, including two number ones, so fair enough, really. “Broken Strings” was his highest placed single, reaching number 2 in 2008; his last hit single was back in 2011, since when he’s been an albums act.

15. Big Thief – “Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You”

With a title like that, I was braced for some horribly pretentious prog rock. But no, it’s an Americana album. Rather good, in fact.

It’s their fifth album, and only the second to chart in the UK – the other was 2019’s “Two Hands”, which reached number 34. So they’re heading in the right direction.

23. Viola Beach – “Viola Beach”

Viola Beach were a heavily tipped indie band who were killed in a car crash in 2016; their posthumously released album went to number 1. This is the vinyl reissue.

36. Eddie Vedder – “Earthling”

This is the fourth solo album by Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder, and the first to make the top 40. Mind you, the other three were a bit niche – two film soundtracks and an album of ukulele music.