Still here, then?

1. Noah Kahan – “Stick Season”

As the number one in waiting throughout Christmas, I figured this would hang on long enough to get a couple of weeks after the festive rush. But no, here we are in February and week five. He’s seen off Ariana Grande; his biggest challengers right now is “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims, climbing to 3, and “Murder on the Dancefloor” continuing its revival run at number 2.

It’s a quiet week for new entries in the top end of the chart, so we move on to…

20. YG Marley – “Praise Jah in the Moonlight”

Debut hit. YG Marley is the grandson of Bob Marley, and the son of Lauren Hill, which is quite the pedigree. “YG” stands for “Young God”, apparently – his first name is Joshua. The song is partly based on “Crisis”, a 1978 album track by Bob Marley & the Wailers. We don’t get much reggae on the singles chart, but this is pretty appealing quite aside from the family name. It’s already been number one in New Zealand and made the Dutch top ten.

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It’s the end of January and the charts are now firmly back in their normal rhythm.

1. Noah Kahan – “Stick Season”

Four weeks, and having seen off Ariana Grande, he seems to be settling in for the long haul. This week’s biggest challenge, for example, comes from…

5. Noah Kahan & Sam Fender – “Homesick”

This is the latest in a series of reissues of Kahan’s album tracks with guest verses by other singers – basically the equivalent of the single remix with the guest rapper. This time it’s Sam Fender, who understandably has completely different lyrics for his verse because he plainly did not grow up in New England. They didn’t change the chorus, though, making him a weird fit.

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Well, I didn’t see this coming.

1. Noah Kahan – “Stick Season” 

That’s three weeks at number one, and a total of 13 weeks in the top 10. Consecutive weeks, even during the Christmas deluge. This is a very big hit, but it’s been around for a while now, so you’d expect it to be easy prey for a big new release by now. Nope.

2. Ariana Grande – “Yes, And?”

This is the lead single from her next album. I must admit I expected her to take number 1 almost by default, particularly since her last album was in 2020. Apparently we’re doing Madonna homage now, and why not? It’s probably due for a revival. I’m not wild about the song, though – lyrically, it’s pretty hamfisted.

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Things are getting back to normal, but we’re still in an odd kind of limbo where the post-Christmas hype cycle is taking its time to get going, and back catalogue material is filling some of that void.

1. Noah Kahan – “Stick Season”

Two weeks. I can’t see him managing a third, because Ariana Grande has a new single out, but I suppose anything’s possible.

11. The Weeknd, Playboi Carti & Madonna – “Popular”

The soundtrack to the much-maligned The Idol is experiencing some kind of resurgence. “One of the Girls” entered at 21 last week, and it’s still at 25 this week. Now “Popular” resurfaces at 11 – precisely where it peaked last summer.

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Last week, there were 37 Christmas singles on the chart. This week, every single one of them is gone. There are almost no new releases to take their place.

Brace for chaos.

1. Noah Kahan – “Stick Season”

We start with something fairly predictable. Originally released in autumn 2022, this entered the top 40 in October, partly on the back of an Olivia Rodrigo cover. It’s one of the three non-Christmas songs that clung in like limpets during the festive deluge – it even stayed in the top 10 throughout – and so it’s been the obvious number 1 in waiting. It finally becomes his first number 1 in its 13th week on the chart, having previously spent two weeks at number 2. His other single “Northern Attitude” re-enters at number 28, after a previous two-week run in November where it peaked at 16.

And now for something less obvious.

8. Sophie Ellis-Bextor – “Murder on the Dancefloor”

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This is the chart that covers Christmas Day itself. It also covers the three days after Christmas, when you might think the Christmas music would be tailing off a bit. But if it did, then the effect was swamped by everyone hammering the Christmas playlists in the first half of the week. And so we’re looking at another all-Christmas post.

1. Wham! – “Last Christmas”

Four weeks this year, seven in total. I’m pretty sure the Christmas records will be gone next week – last year, “Last Christmas” dived from number 1 straight out of the top 100. The top three are all non-movers, with Sam Ryder at 2 and Mariah Carey at 5. Most of the chart consists of the existing Christmas records squeezing up another place or two, but that does free up some space at the bottom for five new tracks – all of them Christmas.

35. Michael Jackson & The Jackson Five – “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”

Just think, there could be future generations for whom Michael Jackson’s reputation rests entirely on “Thriller” and “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”. Ask Wizzard if you don’t believe me. This track was recorded for the “Jackson 5 Christmas Album” in 1970, and wasn’t released as a single at the time. It first charted in 2018 when it got to number 30, but hasn’t managed to establish itself as a chart regular. It got to 40 last year.

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It’s the Christmas number one, and at long last…

1. Wham! – “Last Christmas”

That’s three weeks, and six in total, if you count 2020 and 2022. But this is the first time that it’s actually been the Christmas number one – on its first release it ran into Band Aid, and over the last few years, the Christmas number one has been monopolised by Ladbaby’s charity singles. He didn’t release one this year, and nothing else emerged to fill the gap either, leaving us with a battle between Wham representing the back catalogue, and Sam Ryder’s “You’re Christmas To Me”, which climbs 10-2 this week – matching the peak of his Eurovision song “Space Man” last year.

The Christmas tracks still dominate the chart – there are 33 of them this week – but things may start freeing up next week, since Christmas Day falls four days into the streaming week. Then again, maybe people will absolutely hammer the Christmas tracks in the first half of the week. We’ll see.

20. Cher – “DJ Play a Christmas Song”

Climbing from last week’s number 41, and probably helped by her doing it on the final of Strictly Come Dancing. Cher hasn’t had a hit single since “I Hope You Find It” reached number 25 in 2013, though in fairness, it’s not like she’s released much.

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It’s mid-December, but we won’t have as much Christmas music this week as you might think, simply because the charts are so rammed with Christmas material already. So…

1. Wham! – “Last Christmas”

Two weeks. Perhaps more surprising is that there are still some non-Christmas records hanging in at the top of the chart. That’s mainly because the downweighting rule doesn’t apply to them, admittedly, but Mariah Carey drops back to number 3 this week, allowing Noah Kahan back to number 2. Unexpectedly, our highest new entry this week is…

29. Jack Harlow & Dave – “Stop Giving Me Advice”

This is a track from the upcoming Lyrical Lemonade album “All is Yellow”. The Chart Company is listing Lyrical Lemonade as a co-artist, but it’s more of a company than an artist, and the video itself only credits Dave and Harlow as the artists, so I’ll go with that. This is the sort of unlikely collaboration between two high profile artists that can make some sort of impact even in the madness of the Christmas charts.

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Merry Christmas.

1. Wham! – “Last Christmas”

Well, yes, here we go again. It’s the first full week of December and here comes Wham! again. “Last Christmas” only reached number 2 on release in 1984, thanks to Band Aid, but it had a week at number 1 just after Christmas 2020, and two non-consecutive weeks at number 1 last year. It now gets a fourth week at number 1. I believe this is the first time that the same song has been number 1 on four separate occasions, unless you count the multiple versions of “Three Lions” as the same song. It’s a safe bet that this record is going to be sewn up by Christmas records for the future.

Right, then, bring on the tinsel parade.

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Ah, early December. That period when almost no new singles are released because it’s nearly Christmas, but the annual festive march hasn’t reached the top end of the chart just yet, and so whatever’s at the top of the chart tends to stay there for now.

1. Jack Harlow – “Lovin On Me”

That’s three weeks, with Noah Kahan’s “Stick Season” climbing to 2 – I suppose it’s just possible he might sneak a week at number 1 before Christmas. Bear in mind that it’s only holding on at number 1 because all of the Christmas back catalogue is subject to the downweighting rule.

17. Ed Sheeran & Elton John – “Merry Christmas”

Well, except for this – it’s recent enough that the chart rules still allow it to be reset to normal if it has a sudden suge in sales. But the Christmas streaming playlists are swamping the charts – we’ll see the march of last week’s new entries in a bit. This spent three weeks at number 1 on its release in 2021, and reached number 3 again last year.

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