It’s Eurovision time, as the spillover from last Saturday’s song contest feeds its way through to the chart.  If you’re wondering why none of the Eurovision songs were on last week’s chart, well, most of it is because there were only a few hours of sales between the contest itself and the cut-of period for sales.  But another factor is that iTunes apparently failed to report sales data for last Saturday due to a technical glitch.  The chart compilers’ protocol when a retailer fails to report properly is to extrapolate from its sales earlier in the week, but you can’t do that with records that only start selling on Saturday night, so… that’s a bunch of sales lost in the ether.

Inevitably, the Eurovision songs were doing quite well in the midweeks, but pretty much nobody was still buying them by Wednesday, so their end of week performance is rather more muted.  Meanwhile, a couple of midweek releases shake things up a bit further…

40.  Sanna Nielsen – “Undo”

This is the Swedish entry, which came third.  It’s big power balladry, which always goes down well in Eurovision.  It does have a good chorus (by real world power ballad standards, not just Eurovision’s).  They take Eurovision very seriously in Sweden; Nielsen has a career going back to 1996, even if her discography is remarkably heavy on Christmas albums – she’s made four.  But she’s still been trying to represent her country in Eurovision for years, having entered the national Melodifestivalen song selection tournament seven times.  (If you’d prefer the official video to the Eurovision performance, here it is.)

39.  Twista featuring Faith Evans – “Hope”

Originally a number 25 hit in 2005, this has re-entered after being covered in a Britain’s Got Talent audition.  As the film clips in the video make abundantly clear, this is from the soundtrack Coach Carter (the one where Samuel L Jackson plays a high school basketball coach, but one who cares about academic achievement).

37.  The Janoskians – “Real Girls Eat Cake”

The Janoskians are an Australian YouTube comedy group, making a diversion into the novelty record sphere.  They’re not comedy musicians, and this isn’t particularly funny, but it’s not as bad as I was fearing five seconds in.  It’s actually a pretty routine pop song with a bit of swearing thrown in for the kids.

28.  Katy Perry – “Birthday”

Climbing 10.  It’s still her lowest-charting single to date, but the midweeks suggest it’s at least going to manage the two place climb it would need to beat 2009’s forgettable “Thinking of You”.

23.  Molly – “Children of the Universe”

The UK entry, climbing 10 places.  This was generally expected to do quite well in Eurovision, and ended up underperforming badly.  Interestingly, a breakdown of the results reveals that that’s largely because it got hammered by the juries who make up 50% of the results; it actually performed quite strongly in the international phone votes.  There were quite a few of these discrepancies, though it’s worth adding that both the juries and the public came up with the same winner.  Molly will be gone from the chart entirely next week.

20.  Ed Sheeran – “One”

Midweek release – it’s the instant gratification track from his upcoming album “X”.  This is going to climb when it gets a full week of sales under its belt.  It’s an acoustic ballad, naturally; pretty much what we’ve come to expect from Sheeran.  It will climb on Sunday with the benefit of a full week’s sales.

19.  5 Seconds of Summer – “Good Girls”

If this seems remarkably low down for the follow-up to April’s number 1 “She Looks So Perfect”, that’s because it’s not a single – it’s the instant grat track from their self-titled album.  It’s not being promoted as a single in its own right, and it doesn’t seem to be officially on YouTube.  Oh, and it was a midweek release, too.  It doesn’t seem like the most attractive pre-order promotion in the world – buy now and get the album on 30 June, plus you don’t get “She Looks So Perfect” as part of the package.  “Good Girls” drops to 39 in the midweeks, which suggests it really was just charting on an initial surge of album pre-orders rather than through any particular interest in the track itself.

17.  Conchita Wurst – “Rise Like a Phoenix”

The Eurovision winner, from Austria, making a one-week visit to the chart.  If all that you know about this is that Conchita Wurst is a drag act with a beard, then you’re probably expecting a novelty song.  Unexpectedly, it’s nothing of the sort; it’s a sort of lost Bond theme, and very well sung at that.  The lyrics are notionally a break-up song, but full of the sort of overcome-and-reinvent material that makes the subtext not all that sub-.

There is a video for this song, but honestly the live version is better.  The staging here is perfect; this is how you use the video walls to support a performer rather than overpower them.

Bearing in mind that Eurovision had a trans winner in Dana International as long ago as 1998, the fact that Conchita Wurst can win the thing shouldn’t really come as a huge surprise.  But Eurovision has extended east over the years to encompass a lot of countries that are significantly less gay friendly.  The Russians were particularly unhappy about this one – that, plus the minor fact that they appear to think gunboat diplomacy is back in fashion, no doubt contributed to the fact that any mention of Russia was heavily booed by the live crowd throughout the night.  (This was terribly unfair to the 17 year old girls actually representing Russia, who to the best of my knowledge have neither expressed any opinions about homosexuality, nor invaded any neighbouring countries.)

It’s interesting, then, to see that this song did indeed pick up its top votes mostly from western countries. (Though not entirely.  It got 10 from Georgia, unexpectedly.)  The UK gave it top marks, though that was thanks to the contribution of the aforementioned jury vote.  Left entirely to the UK phone vote, this would have done well, but we would actually have given twelve points to this, um, interesting Polish entry.  If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s possible to churn butter erotically while singing a playground chant, well, here’s some Polish girls giving it a good old go.  Decide for yourself whether this is an atrocity or an exercise in purist-baiting, or a bit of both.

So that’s what Britain voted for.  But it’s nowhere to be seen in the chart.  In fact, the song the British actually bought is…

9.  The Common Linnets – “Calm After The Storm”

Yes, it’s that well known commercial juggernaut, Dutch country and western!

(The Danish presenter at the start of the clip is filling, by the way, because they’re desperately trying to clear away a prop from the previous act that didn’t work right.)

The Common Linnets were formed for Eurovision.  The actual members are the two singers, Ilse DeLange and a bloke who simply calls himself Waylon, which is admittedly a better name for a country singer than Willem Bijkerk.  There’s an entire album of their stuff on iTunes, so they know to strike while the iron is hot.  It lands at 40 on the album chart this week.

European audiences don’t pay much attention to country, and every so often they get taken by surprise by something like this, and buy it.  I actually like this a lot; even if the whole idea of non-American country is a bit odd, there is something rather calming about it, which stands out all the more in the shambolic chaos of Eurovision.  It was a number 1 hit in its home country, and understandably so.  Nonetheless, it’s going to drop straight out the top 40 next week.

8.  Michael Jackson – “Love Never Felt So Good”

Having moved 27-24-11, this is doing rather better than first seemed to be in prospect.  Obviously the release of the parent album (entering at number 1) helps it a bit.  It also has a video now, for the version with added Justin Timberlake.  (Which is the one selling in larger quantities.)  Quite what the point is of a posthumous Michael Jackson song with a verse of Jackson vocals replaced by Justin Timberlake escapes me, but somebody wants it.  The midweeks suggest this is as far as it’s getting, though.

1.  Rita Ora – “I Will Never Let You Down”

After starting her off as more of a dance singer, Rita Ora’s label have shifted to the strategy of acting like she’s a major mainstream star until everyone gives in and agrees with them.  It seems to be taking.  This is more of an 80s FM pop song with a modern polish,

In fact, it’s written and produced by her boyfriend Calvin Harris  – effectively returning him to number 1 only two weeks after his own track “Summer” was there.  He’s got the clout that you’d normally expect him to get a co-artist credit for this, but that would steal the limelight – and he might understandably not want to do that.

This is Ora’s fourth number 1, following “Hot Right Now”, “R.I.P.”, and “How We Do (Party)”.  It’s the thirteenth straight week that we’ve seen a change at number 1.  I believe I’m right in saying that this equals the previous record set in the summer of 2000, a streak which was broken on that occasion when Modjo’s “Lady (Hear Me Tonight)” managed to cling on for a second week.   Ora is at number 4 in the midweeks, so a new record looks to be in prospect.

On the album chart:

• “Xscape” by Michael Jackson at 1.  His second posthumous album, and his tenth number 1 (including compilations).
• “Turn Blue” by the Black Keys at 2.  The indie duo’s fifth album, and the highest placed to date.  Single: “Fever”.
• “Glorious” by Foxes at 5.  Debut album.  The single “Holding Onto Heaven” drops to 24 this week.
• “First Mind” by Nick Mulvey at 10.  Debut solo album from the member of Portico Quartet; the single “Cucurucu” unexpectedly made number 26 a couple of months back.
• “Unrepentant Geraldines” by Tori Amos at 13.  That’s her highest position since “From the Choirgirl Hotel” made number 6 in 1998.  Single: “Trouble’s Lament”.
• “Nabuma Rubberband” by Little Dragon at 14.  Swedish synth pop.  Their second album, and a higher chart place.  Single: “Paris”.
• “Blondie 4(0)-ever” by Blondie at 16.  This is a double album, consisting of one disc of a re-recordings of their hits, and one new album called “Ghosts of Download” in which Blondie try their hands at Latin dance music.  Because that’s what people who buy Blondie greatest hits albums want – reggaeton.  Single (which couldn’t sound less Blondie if tried): “Sugar on the Side”.
• “To Be Kind” by Swans at 38.  Veteran experimental indie group notorious for playing live shows at (literally) painfully loud volumes.  Single: “Oxygen”
• “The Common Linnets” by The Common Linnets at 40.